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Re: Venting and hopefully someone understands or feels my pain.
Boy, you said everything that I felt and still feel at times. I really think there needs to be rehabilitation for breast cancer after treament. The mental aftermath can be so brutal and people who have not been through it just do not understand, even our doctors. They just expect us to go back to a normal life - what is that and how do you achieve that after a cancer diagnosis??!!
I am now over a year out from my last herceptin treatment, my hair has grown back, but I am still dealing with the mental aftermath. I still have phantom pains that make me paranoid that my cancer is back, and the hot flashes really wreak havoc on me too. My oncologst just prescribed me Effexor but I am too scared to take it. I am learning to live with the aftermath of it all and it's hard to keep positive. Some days are better and then there are the days were I am mad at the world. I think we are entitled to that with all we've been through!
I remember someone telling me I had a cute head with my wig off - really does not help at all!
Hang in there - it will get better 
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11/17/10 - Diagnosed with 4.5cm tumor in right breast, IDC, Stage 2, Nuclear grade 2, ER+ PR+ HER2+
12/13/10 - Lymph node biopsy - negative
12/28/10 - Started neo-adjuvant treatment along with clinical trial with 4 rounds of AC chemo every 3 weeks
3/15/11 - Began weekly Taxol/Herceptin infusions along with 750mg of Tykerb taken by mouth daily
6/28/11 - Finished last cycle of Taxol
7/27/11 - Breast MRI shows tumor has dissolved, remarkable reaction to chemo
8/31/11 - Lumpectomy, Sentinel Node biopsy. Node negative, clear margins, 7mm of cancer left over from chemo.
10/05/11 - Started radiation, 5 days a week for 7 weeks.
11/8/11 - Finished radiation
3/21/12 - Last Herceptin!
3/26/12 - Port removed!
Tamoxifen for 5 years
8/4/15 - Hysterectomy & bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. Due to large fibroids. No cancer!
8/8/15 - Started Arimidex
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