Relationship challenges

[sarah]

Hello Friend,
Boy do I hate to read this. As a core part of a support group here in France, I've seen relationships that fell apart, some became stronger and some went through a lot of stress.
while he does not seem to have been the right person for you, I have learnt that it's really hard for caregivers particularly men. and children have a hard time also and aren't always the most understanding at times. While this site has had a number of unbelievably dedicated and caring men, my experience with members of our group has been mixed. The men are afraid, they are used to solving problems and many don't like the touchy feely weepy stuff. That's why it's important to have some girl friends to chat to particularly ones who've been through this battle.
My husband has been super supportive but the second time around, I became extremely moody. I couldn't tolerate problems, lost patience, changed a lot. Luckily a friend told me I was suffering from depression and should take anti-depressants. Me depressed!! I'm not a depressive person! but she was right and I went on them for a couple of years during treatment and it helped tremendously. saved my husband from going quietly insance I think!!! The chemo doc gave me a prescription for one that I could start and slowly go off anytime I wanted to - I didn't want to get hooked on anything. ~So that's something you might want to talk to a doctor about.
Besides that I would say start trying to believe you're going to get your life back, maybe in a better way because you'll appreciate it so much more. and trust that you're going to live and start enjoying things again. Be patient with yourself and with others. ~Everyone's confused. My husband used to say he didn't know what to say to me because it always seemed to be the wrong thing! and he just wanted to help and make me feel better.
Be social. meet with friends. you'll feel better, believe me you will.
hugs and love
sarah