Cancer and marriage

kvogler · 01-13-2013, 06:15 PM

Thanks for the support everyone. Since July I've handled the pshysical aspects of this disease fairly well. I underestimated how much this can mess your mind as well. Wasn't prepared for that. All my books focused on the body aspects and not the mind. I'm looking foward to my appointment to talk this junk out. I don't even know where I stand hormonally. That could be a component as well. I've been shot into this treatment-induced menopause so quickly that I don't even know my body anymore. I was the type to be weepy the week before my period but now I no longer have any kind of cycle to go by to predict my mood. Kept myself busy today and it was a better day. I'm seeking treatment out-of-state and talked with hubby on the phone. He doesn't show emotion much (I guess most men don't) but he kept trying to keep me on the phone for the longest time. I guess he's hurting too and this is something he can't "fix" for me. I might also be freaking out because a friend of mine passed from cancer at the age of 42 and left her 8 year-old behind right before I left to come up here for treatment. In my mind I know she had a different type of cancer and treatment than me but emotionally it scared me. I'll definately talk to the doctor about how we can keep the anxiety from poking its head so much. I'll just take it one day at a time. Thanks for putting up with my rantings. It helps to hear your stories and takes on the situation. It makes me feel less alone with this situation. I'm just a mental "hot mess" right now as my girlfriends would put it.

starwishn2 · 01-13-2013, 07:51 PM

Everything everyone has written is excellent. In my situation my husband would not talk about how he was feeling (still doesn't) but I could see he was hurting. If friends or family asked him how he was doing he would said "fine, Jeri is the one that needs the support". I asked several male friends of ours to stop by and just visit with him and see how he was doing. I know most men won't talk about feelings but he seemed a little more at ease after talking with his friends. That might be a place to start with your husband.

I work in the social work field and am very "pro" therapy. I think it's great you will be speaking with a therapist. Hopefully your husband will want to join in those meetings soon. This is such a tough journey. You are in my thoughts.
Jeri