Becky's 2000th post commemorative thread

[juanita]

ed's great grandpa, paddy was out celebrating st patrick's day at the local pub and really tied one on. he had so many that mick the bartender had to cut him off.
paddy replies, "ok mick, i'll be on my way then." paddy spun around on his stool, steps off and falls flat on his face. "what the....", he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. he takes a step toward the door and falls flat on his face again. "dang!" he says. he looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get some fresh air he'll be fine. he belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame and falls flat on his face. "by jesus i'm soused" he says.
he can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for it. he crawls down the street and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and looks inside. he takes a look up the stairs and says, "no flapping way!" but he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom and thinks, "i can make it to the bed" he takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face again. he says, "this is bad. i really gotta stop drinking." he manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.
the next morning his wife comes into the room bringing him his coffee and says,"did you have a lot to drink last night?" paddy says, "i did jess, but how'd you know?"
"mick called-----you left your wheelchair at the bar."