OK...was I rude when I said this?

Mary Anne in TX · 08-06-2008, 02:28 PM

Hey, Rhonda! Some time back I asked a question on a thread about something (don't even remember what) and Sandy answered me with what felt like a slap upside the head! I did the typical thing and got my feelings hurt for a couple of hours and then realized she was SO RIGHT! I was so grateful that she didn't mince words with me and told it like it was. Her information helped me make a decision and I have continued to be blessed by her response. It toughened me up a bit. And what about dealing with cancer doesn't require us to be tough. I've learned to appreciate the information I receive here and other places. Sometimes the "delivery system" is hard to hear, but always appreciated.
Talk to her. But keep being you, caring enough to confront.
You're terrific! ma

RhondaH · 08-06-2008, 03:07 PM

I'll apologize tomorrow.

Rhonda

Mary Jo · 08-06-2008, 03:38 PM

.....gives Rhonda a big hug because you are special.

It takes a big person to apologize.....even when you don't think you were wrong....but you know you hurt someone else. That's the sign of a special person.

Hugs,

Mary Jo

Becky · 08-06-2008, 06:39 PM

Or not...

I can be the devil to Marejo's angel. Who is she to complain after 7 rads. Really.... I burned to a crisp but it didn't happen until about the 4th week. And remember, I went through rads with my mom (who was diagnosed 4 months after me and had her lumpectomy during the first taxol). What the firetruck

Rads are nothing without chemo too (which does cause more rads symptoms) PLUS the fact that - don't you want to be cured? You HAVE to have the rads with lumpectomy. There is NO choice for it to have the same outcome as mastectomy. I would just tell her if she isn't going to finish rads, is she going to get a mastectomy then? Otherwise her chance of local recurrence is quite high. Oh well, her problem not yours. I guess its sometimes hard to tolerate stupidity and I am on "staycation" this week too so I am having more liberty than usual.

Gerri · 08-06-2008, 07:16 PM

Rhonda,

I don't think you owe her an apology. Like Mary Anne said, this could be the wake up call she needed to get her through treatment. Maybe she went back to her desk, thought about what you said, and it made her realize that if you could go through a year and a half of treatment, she could certainly hang in there and finish out her rads. Next time you see her just smile and ask how she is doing. She'll get over it. If not, then she has a whole different set of issues to deal with.

StephN · 08-06-2008, 07:28 PM

Hi Rhonda -
Don't fret. I am with Gerri in that I don't see that a REAL apology is necessary. What is there to apologize for?

Seems to me she is upset with HERSELF for getting cancer. We all feel like rebelling at some point, don't we?

Your coworker is obviously not up to speed as to why she is getting a certain treatment pattern. Maybe she is one of those who"don't want to know - just kill it." I have a friend like that and we never talk details. Becky gave those details that this other gal may not be aware of or has forgotten with her selective memory.