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Joy,
I don't think anyone here is unfamiliar with what you are describing. I am also reticent to plan more than 6 months ahead. This disease is much more about mental strength than physical endurance, something I never understood until it happened to me. Nothing is more awful than to have your future taken away. I, too, often find I am afraid to "let" myself feel too happy, because I can't bear the thought of having that happiness taken away again.
We just need to adapt to living in the moment as best we can, especially when scan and blood test times come around. Much easier said than done, but no use to start mourning in advance when you don't know what the outcome will be - it is a poor use of a perfectly good "present" (as in, "the present tense").
Best of luck to you with your upcoming scans. I'll look forward to your post letting us know how you do.
Hopeful
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