Life seems to be about losing

[caya]

Sheila,

Sorry you are going through this with your DH right now - but after 5 years, I suppose we have to give the guy a bit of a break - he was bound to crack a bit at some point.
I think men in general are not all that touchy-feely - and he is probably terrified of losing you, especially with some of the latest developments in your journey. Unforturnately he is expressing himself out of fear and frustration - and let's face it - this disease is the f***ing pits.

As one of the other gals said - Sheila, since I got diagnosed and found this site, you have been one of my heros - Obviously not the same as receiving kudos from your husband, but he's only human.

Please ask someone to take you to a treatment - believe me, people are more than willing to help, they just don't know what to do. Here in Canada the Canadian Cancer Society has volunteers who drive patients to their treatment if they need a ride.

I hope that you get through this with all the grace,dignity and love you deserve.

all the best
caya

[BonnieR]

Given the way men can be, I guess it is unrealistic to ask if there is a support group he might agree to attend. Or a social worker or psychologist at the place you receive treatment who he might talk to when you are both there anyway for your therapy....
My husband and I belong to a 12 step program because of me so he might be a TINY bit more open to such suggestions. Not that he has sought out anything.
He is "stoic" like so many men.....I can only imagine what he is going through....

[tricia keegan]

Sheila I'm sorry you're feeling this sadness right now, is it possible all these meds have you down too and maybe you're seeing things blacker than they really are?? My hubby was great during my treatments, I don't drive so he took off work (self employed) to be with me driving ...cooking or whatever. However since I'm not two years out he acts like this never happened and at times is selfish and indifferent which leaves me feeling alone too and concerned for the future. he has said "this cancer does'nt just effect you" and of course he's right. I think maybe your hubby is just dealing with this his own wayand possibly does'nt realize how hurtful his words can be to you. I agree with the girls if you can get someone else to drive then do so but if not ...if it was him that had the cancer you'd drive him and gladly lose time from work etc and the lower income so don't feel too bad about how hard done by he thinks he is. He may have deeper thoughts and feelings too about your illness that he does'nt discuss and I hope this passes soon as you don't need the extra stress.
Be a little selfish here and think of YOU right now and stop feeling guilty!!