|
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: LAND OF YES!
w/home in Boca Raton, Florida
Orig from L.I., N.Y.
Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
|
To Iowa Andi From Fl Andi
Andi, You are a hero in all our eyes. Your grace is something that should be reported on the news, it is that extraordinary. I read your last post and came across the beginning of one sentence that struck me hard. You wrote something like "I know the time I have left is short". Sweet Andi with the Spirit of a saint -- when you KNOW something, the outcome follows. It is a self-prophesizing act. Just giving you a heads up, since I am still praying for a miracle to go from the Heavens to you in Iowa and I want you to be receptive to it. I thank God you are feeling no pain, have peace and are no doubt surrounded by love (family and friends). In addition, you have the passionate prayers of all of us on this board. We are on the sidelines cheering you along, sending messages full of love and healing. Remember us, as we will never forget you and your sweetness in keeping us informed. We all care deeply. We all want to see you miraculously rally. Keep talking to your body loud and clear. Try KNOWING that many are working on sending you a miracle, to your door.
I just want to add a short story about my beloved friend Sue. She had a rare stomach ca, multiple mets, multiple surg, much chemo. She couldn't take it anymore. No chemo was working. Bld transfusns and much suffering. She was the dearest, kindest, wisest, strongest, bravest, most loving human being I've ever known. We would write love letters to ea other. She was more than sister, more than a mother to me. We adored ea other. I was heartbrkn when she decided to stop all treatment. You know me, I begged and pleaded, coached and prodded, but then backed away and respected her right to do w/her life as she chose. She kept on living for many yrs. She kept saying to me, Why am I still here? I want to go. There must be some reason why God is keeping me here. She'd moved frm Boca back to Conn. Her unmarried fifty yr old dghtr became nearly crippled w/Croyn's (?sp). Sue and her incredible, devoted husb Al tk care of Jen for well over a yr, got her back to health. They grew even closer, as Sue would sit by Jen's bedside and they would chat. Still more yrs Sue stayed w/us. Wanting to go but somehow KNOWING she was meant to stay for a while longer. She would be needed. When I got the call that she had passed on I was prepared but crumbled. I KNEW her Spirit still was, had passed on to the Spiritual Realm, and she no longer would have to fight and suffer, but I longed for comfort of her loving words. The point I want to make is, you never KNOW you have only a short time.
Richard Bloch of H&R Bloch was dx w/4th stage terminal lung ca. Given 3 mnths to live tops. Put yr affairs in order. Other oncs concurred. He decided to live anyway. He fnd an onc who put him on very aggressive chemo and he lived for over 20 yrs. He has written a bk about his exper promoting THE WILL to live and the power of your thoughts, meditation to calm and soothe and connect, the love of his wife and his inner KNOWING that he would prove those docs wrong.
Trying my best to give you positive ideas to ponder and maybe even adopt. Be alert to what you KNOW. Use it to your advantage. Stay open to the answer to all our prayers for you and a remarkable miracle to call your own. (Then you can write your own bk)! With much love, ANDI (from Boca)
__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...
'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...
Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
|