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02-17-2007, 12:20 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 290
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My Sweet Angel is Gone
Dear friends at HER2 support,
It is through waves of tears that I tell you that the love of my life, my sweet Mother, has left this world. She passed away on February 11th, but I was not able to post or access the site as I was unaware of the changes made.
My heart is broken into a thousand little pieces, and I am torn apart from the inside out. My Mother was the most selfless, devoted, and caring mother that ever walked the earth. Any good that is in me came as a result of having been raised by her and my Father. They worked tirelessly to give me a good life, and tried to teach me what was true and right in the world. The last words I spoke to her before her casket was closed, was to thank her for loving me the way she did.
I feel as if I have been hit in the face with a shovel, and I don't know what to do next. Our routine of many years now has come to a grinding and gut wrenching halt. I will tell you more when I can next bring myself to write about her, but I will let you all have this one bit of satisfaction. Thanks to the efforts of Joe, Christine, and all of you, Mom did NOT succumb to the Beast. Her death was unrelated to it in any way. All of you helped me and her beat the Beast down and kill it. For that I will be forever greatful.
I am going away for a few days to help a friend with her recovery from brain surgery (not cancer) and will post when I return. Thank you all again. I will never forget what you did for us in my most desperate moments of darkness through her battle. I love you all very much.
Greatfully yours,
Tom
Proud son of Hazel K. Brown
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02-17-2007, 01:22 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 329
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Dear Tom,
I just read your post and my heart goes out to you. Tom, what can I say. I'm sure your Mom had a great life otherwise she couldn't have a son like you. She was a great woman, she lived her life fully, she gave you as a gift to the world. And I know she was in peace when she left this world, knowing you will continue her life. I love you like my brother and we are here for you. I know she does not want you to be sad, and she wants you to continue her way of life.
Much love,
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02-17-2007, 01:26 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,018
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Tom, you and your mother are very real for us because you have been so caring and willing to share pieces of yourselves and your lives with us. I'm glad there is so much that your parents gave you to continue to help you make your life really count. Many times your comments here have been valuable to others. Take the time you need now, and come back when you can.
Yours,
AlaskaAngel
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02-17-2007, 01:36 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Morris, IL
Posts: 3,507
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Tom
All of us Mothers on this board truly admired the selfless and tireless way you looked after your Mother. always looking for something to help her....if only all Mothers were as lucky as yours, to have such a loving son! You were a gift from her and your Father, and you in turn returned that gift by caring for her and giving her your "all" when she needed it most.May the love she shared with you and you with her, help you heal through all of this and continue on....you made her more proud than many a mother! You are a true example of respect and love. Thank you for sharing at this hard time....she is at peace now, and will forever be remember in your heart and ours.
__________________
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
Hugs & Blessings
Sheila
Diagnosed at age 49.99999 2/21/2002 via Mammography (Calcifications)
Core Biopsy 2/22/02
L. Mastectomy 2/25/2002
Stage 1, 0.7cm IDC, Node Neg from 19 nodes Her2+++ ER PR Neg
6/2003 Reconstruction W/ Tissue Expander, Silicone Implant
9/2003 Stage IV with Mets to Supraclavicular nodes
9/2003 Began Herceptin every 3 weeks
3/2006 Xeloda 2500mg/Herceptin for recurrence to neck nodes
3/2007 Added back the Xeloda with Herceptin for continued mets to nodes
5/2007 Taken Off Xeloda, no longer working
6/14/07 Taxol/Herceptin/Avastin
3/26 - 5/28/08 Taxol Holiday Whopeeeeeeeee
5/29 2008 Back on Taxol w Herceptin q 2 weeks
4/2009 Progression on Taxol & Paralyzed L Vocal Cord from Nodes Pressing on Nerve
5/2009 Begin Rx with Navelbine/Herceptin
11/09 Progression on Navelbine
Fought for and started Tykerb/Herceptin...nodes are melting!!!!!
2/2010 Back to Avastin/Herceptin
5/2010 Switched to Metronomic Chemo with Herceptin...Cytoxan and Methotrexate
Pericardial Window Surgery to Drain Pericardial Effusion
7/2010 Back to walking a mile a day...YEAH!!!!
9/2010 Nodes are back with a vengence in neck
Qualified for TDM-1 EAP
10/6/10 Begin my miracle drug, TDM-1
Mixed response, shrinking internal nodes, progression skin mets after 3 treatments
12/6/10 Started Halaven (Eribulen) /Herceptin excellent results in 2 treatments
2/2011 I CELEBRATE my 9 YEAR MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7/5/11 begin Gemzar /Herceptin for node progression
2/8/2012 Gemzar stopped, Continue Herceptin
2/20/2012 Begin Tomo Radiation to Neck Nodes
2/21/2012 I CELEBRATE 10 YEARS
5/12/2012 BeganTaxotere/ Herceptin is my next miracle for new node progression
6/28/12 Stopped Taxotere due to pregression, Started Perjeta/Herceptin
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02-17-2007, 01:36 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 215
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Tom, I don't post often , but I always looked forward to reading your posts. You are the most caring person I have ever had the pleasure of not meeting personally but thru your posts. I have sons also that are very caring and I hope they can measure up to your standards. Your dear sweet Mother is at peace now in the arms of Jesus, so please celebrate her life. Please don't leave this site, we need you here with us. God Bless you, Jeanette
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02-17-2007, 01:55 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Acworth, GA
Posts: 2,104
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Tom,
My heart felt sympathy is sent your way. Your mother was fortunate to have such a loving son. I'm at a loss for words. Please take care of yourself.
__________________
Kate
Stage IIIC Diagnosed Oct 25, 2005 (age 58)
ER/PR-, HER2+++, grade 3, Ploidy/DNA index: Aneuploid/1.61, S-phase: 24.2%
Neoadjunct chemo: 4 A/C; 4 Taxatore
Bilateral mastectomy June 8, 2006
14 of 26 nodes positive
Herceptin June 22, 2006 - April 20, 2007
Radiation (X35) July 24-September 11, 2006
BRCA1/BRCA2 negative
Stage IV lung mets July 13, 2007 - TCH
Single brain met - August 6, 2007 -CyberKnife
Oct 2007 - clear brain MRI and lung mets shrinking.
March 2008 lung met progression, brain still clear - begin Tykerb/Xeloda/Ixempra
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02-17-2007, 02:04 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 26
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Tom
Tom....no Words Can Help With The Emptiness You Feel....but You Did Good With The Way You Loved And Cared For Your Mom....may God Be With You At This Time....
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02-17-2007, 02:08 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 2,357
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Hi Tom! Thank you for making time when it didn't feel good to do so, and letting us know about your mother. No more powerful thing in this ol' world than love. And you have had a family that understood the power and used it fully. I'm so sorry for your grief. I hope that you will find some peace soon. I must say that it took me several years to stop grieving for my mom after she died. She fought such a valiant battle her last 3 years against Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. What an example she set for me, just as your mother did for you. God bless you and thank you again for caring enough to let us know. mary anne
__________________
MA in TX.
Grateful for each and every day....
Diag. 12/05 at age 60
Stage II, Grade 3, 4.5 cm primary tumor
ER/PR- Her2 +3 strongly positive
Her2 by FISH 7.7 amplified
vascular invasion
Ki67 20% borderline
Jan - March '06 Taxotere/Adriamycin X 3 to try to shrink tumor - it grew
April '06 Rt Modified Radical Mas, 7 of 9 nodes positive
April - Aug. '06 Herceptin/Taxol/Carboplatin X 8 (dose dense)
Sept - Dec. '06 Navelbine/Herceptin x 8 (dose dense)
Radiation & Herceptin Jan. 22 - March 1, 2007
Finished Herceptin Dec. 10 '08! One extra year.
Port removed August, 2012.
8 1/2 years since diagnosis! 5 1/2 Years NED!
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02-17-2007, 02:59 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Lincoln, Rhode Island
Posts: 371
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Dear Tom,
My heart breaks for you and you family. You are truely a wonderful man and son.May god bring you through this horrible ordeal. Again my deepest sympathy.
__________________
Love and Hope
Karen
IDC
DX 1998 STAGE I ER+/ PR+
AC CHEMO TILL FEB 1999
Tamxofin till 2001
2001 exstensive liver mets and mets to lungs
Started weekly taxol
Jan 2002 found out I was strongly HER2POS+++ started herceptin continued with taxol and herceptin till June 2002 then from June 2002 till Jan 2005 just herceptin and Arimidex
2005 Navelbine herceptin had RFA Then back on taxol with herceptin
April 2006 progression again went on clinical trial with tykrerb/herceptin progressed on the started Xeloda/ herceptin
Feb 2007 started Doxil
August 2007 Taxotere,Carboplatin and Herceptin exstensive mets to liver and pancreas
October 2007 Had to stop Carboplatin due to sever allergic reaction
Jan 2008
Stopped Taxotere due to progression now on Gemzar and Herceptin
March 2008 Starting Carboplatin, Abraxane, and Herceptin.
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02-17-2007, 03:05 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 1,516
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Tom...
I was SHOCKED to read your post and tears are streaming down MY eyes for you. If your mom was all that you said she was, you are DEFINATELY your mothers son and I KNOW she and your father are proud of you. If there is ANYTHING I can do to help, please let me know. BIGGGG huggs to you. Take care and God bless.
Rhonda
PS, my son is a Brown also and if that is any indication that he will be as wonderful as you, then he should wear the name proudly 
__________________
Rhonda
Dx 2/1/05, Stage 1, 0 nodes, Grade 3, ER/PR-, HER2+ (3.16 Fish)
2/7/05, Partial Mastectomy
5/18/05 Finished 6 rounds of dose dense TEC (Taxotere, Epirubicin and Cytoxan)
8/1/05 Finished 33 rads
8/18/05 Started Herceptin, every 3 weeks for a year (last one 8/10/06)
2/1/13...8 year Cancerversary and I am "perfect" (at least where cancer is concerned;)
" And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln
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02-17-2007, 03:44 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lumberton, Mississippi
Posts: 118
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Dear Tom:
I have been so impressed when I would read your posts. Not many men would care for their mothers the way you have. My husband did, so I feel very fortunate to have him. I have raised two sons that I hope have the compassion that you have shown. My prayer is that God give you a peace about your mother's passing. Your parents sound to have been very special people. Please know that my heart is with you.
Linda
__________________
Diagnosed 12/23/04
Biopsy 12/28/04
Lumpectomy 1/04/05
IDC, ER-PR-, HER2Neu+++
7mm tumor, Stage 1, Grade 3
6 CAF's
38 Rads
Finished 10/05
"Worry looks around. Sorry looks back. Faith looks up."
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02-17-2007, 03:51 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 38
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I am so sorry. I lost my mother soon after beginning chemo and she, also, was the most wonderful mother one could ever have. She also had breast cancer but died of other causes. My heart goes out to you.
Bonnie
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02-17-2007, 03:57 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 3,463
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So sorry
Tom My sincere sympathy to you on your Moms passing.
You will both be in my prayers.
Hugs
Tricia
__________________
Tricia
Dx July '05 IDC 1.9cm Triple positive 3/9 nodes positive
A/C X 4 ..Taxol/Herceptin x 12 wks then herceptin 1 yr
Rads x 36 ..oophorectomy August '06
Currently taking Arimidex..
June 2011 osteopenia/ zometa x1 yearly- stopped Zometa 2015 as Dexa show normal bone density.
Stopped Arimidex July 2014- Restarted Arimidex 2015 for a further two years on the advice of my Onc.
2014 Normal Dexa scan
2018 Mammo all clear, still NED!
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02-17-2007, 04:22 PM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 161
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I'm very sorry to hear about your mother, Tom.
__________________
Diag. Oct. 2004 age 54 left breast
Stage 1 grade 3; 6mm IDC; unknown amount of DCIS
with comedo necrosis; node neg.
Nottingham Grade 7/9
ER 91% PR 62%; Her2 3.6 by ICH; KI-67 35%
Nov 2004 Lumpectomy; SNB failed so had
full axillary clearance;
Dec 2004 2nd lumpy for clean DCIS margins.
Jan/Feb 2005 4 A/C dose dense;
33 rads finished 6/2005;
Began 5 years Arimidex in 6/2005
No Herceptin
9/2007 Quit Arimidex due to severe side effects.
NED
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02-17-2007, 05:09 PM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 943
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Dear Tom,
My deepest sympathy goes out to you. Your mother was lucky to have such a devoted, caring son, as I know you were to her. I am praying that God will touch you with peace and comfort you. Please take care and do come back on the boards when you are able.
__________________
Robin
2002- dx her2 positive DCIS/bc TX Mast, herceptin chemo
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02-17-2007, 06:43 PM
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#16
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,756
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Dear Tom,
I am so sorry for your loss. You can't imagine it now, but one day memories of your mom will make you smile through your tears as you think "what would mom say or do about this?" Our mom's will always live in our hearts.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
<3 Lolly
__________________
Sept.'99 - Dx.Stage IIIB, IDC ER/PR-, HER2+++ by IHC, confirmed '04 by FISH. Left MRM, AC x's 4, Taxol x's 4, 33 Rads, finishing Tx May 2000. Jan.'01 - local/regional recurrence, Stage IV. Herceptin/Navelbine weekly till NED August 2001, then maintenance Herceptin. Right Mast. April 2002. Local/Regional recurrence April '04, Herceptin plus/minus chemo until May '07. Gemzar added from Feb.'07-April '07; Tykerb/Abraxane until August '07, back on Herceptin plus Taxotere and Xeloda Sept. '07. Stopped T/X Nov. '07, stopped Herceptin Dec. '07, started Avastin/Taxol/Carboplatin Dec. '07. Progression in chest skin, stopped TAC March '03, started radiation.
Herceptin has served as the "Backbone" of my treatment strategy for over 6 years, giving me great quality of life. In 2005, I was privileged to participate in the University of Washington/Seattle HER2 Vaccine Trial.
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02-17-2007, 06:47 PM
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#17
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: indianapolis, indiana
Posts: 1,544
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You are in my prayers!
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02-17-2007, 06:52 PM
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#18
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 77
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Tom,
I am so sorry to read about the loss of your mother. I lost my mother several years ago and I still miss her. She was my angel in life and she is still my little guardian angel sitting on my shoulder every day as your Mom will be for you.
You were both fortunate to have had each other.
God bless and take care,
Carol Carlson
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02-17-2007, 06:57 PM
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#19
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Boise, Idaho
Posts: 758
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Tom, my heart cries for you. I know that soon you wil be able to remember her with less pain. I lost my mother when I was 9 and have always wished I could have known her as an adult. But I do know that someday I will meet her again and I will be able to make up for all that time. I will pray that your acute pain will subside soon.
Love and hugs,
Marlys
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02-17-2007, 07:01 PM
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#20
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 543
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Dear Tom,
I am very sorry for you in this tragic times. I know for sure, having corresponded with you, & having read all your posts that you did everything you could for your mother. I also know you will find inside you the strength to slowly overcome the awfull pain you now shoulder. You have all my sympathy.
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