Hair is going

[KellyA]

Hi Kriss,

I do know what an awful feeling it was to lose the hair. It was the first time also, for me, that it really sunk in that I had cancer. I had managed to look "normal" with reconstruction after my double mast., and the first chemo didn't really make me sick, but there was no denying it when the hair started falling. It didn't help that a few of my loved ones burst into tears the first time they saw me without it. My father, whom I have never seen cry, cried. Horrible feeling.

My husband and boys were wonderful. We had a little party and I got a nice mohawk. I figured that if that didn't put me in the "Cool Mom Book" forever, nothing would! My hubby also carved the NY Yankees logo into the back of my head (I told him that I thought he was enjoying the trim just a little too much and he said it was a once in a lifetime opportunity!!!! :-) ). My hair has always been very long so it was a bit of an adjustment, but I tried to be positive and develope a new "style" with clothes and accessories.

The worst part for me was the staring. I couldn't go anywhere without creating a big "hush" and getting everything frome pity looks to completely horrified stares. I hated to be treated like a "sick person" or like "walking death". Sometimes it would really piss me off. My friends, co-workers and family were wonderful- and many people complimented me on how my eyes look larger, and my smile was so pretty. That always made me feel good.

Now, with chemo 3 months behind me, and a full head of hair, everything is different. I feel "reborn" (corny, I know) and that period of my life is already becoming a distant memory. Sometimes I miss that time though, as sick as it seems, because it was a time when I felt so overwhelmed with love from others,a new way of looking at the world, and at myself. Take lots of pictures- I didn't want to at first, but it is a time that I never want to forget and a time when I really learned to love myself. Being "bald" was one of the best things to ever happen to me.

Love, Kelly

[chrisy]

Hi Kriss,

First, thank goodness you spell your name with a K! I get so confused with all of us!

Yes, the hair was demoralizing to say the least - as someone else said, it is so visual, and a constant reminder that all is not well! Most of the time you're wearing clothes (at least I was - I never did look so great naked!) so the other "scars" are not always in your face so to speak.

I had a bunch of hats - I mean a BUNCH and I lived in them. See, there's a good side to having chemo in the winter. Found out I looked really good in hats and fortunately I work in a place that gets cold - so lots of people wear hats! I also had several wigs, but mostly I wore the hats because of comfort. Then I could tell people how they should feel special when I wore my hair for them!

My distress about my hair drove my hubby crazy. Yeah, it's just hair, but it is an obvious reminder.

I think when you are done with chemo you should look forward to having fun with your hair! I spiked mine all over and looked really cool. But then I work in Santa Cruz where everyone has spiked hair! At least mine wasn't purple (although I considered it!)

In the meantime, hang in there. Cry if you feel like it but you know that you are much more than your hair!

Take care
Chris

[tousled1]

Kriss,

Yes, losing your hair is devasting. As everyone else said -- I believe because it's so visual. I always had a hat fetish so I didn't really mind the hair lose all that much. I had about 32 hats and this time last year I was completely bald. Now I have about 1-1/2 to 2 inches of hair. Just to warn you, the hair on your head is not the only hair you'll loose. You will loose all body har - which is good in a way. The worst thing is when you loose your eyebrows and eyelashes. Don't worry your hair will grow back! Mine is coming in much thicker but poker straight!!

[sassy]

I had always worn my hair long and described it as "Frizzy" rather than curly. I had cut it fairly short when it started coming out in clumps in the shower. Like you Kriss, it matted up and couldn't get rid of it! My husband had to come into the shower and cut the clumps from my head! I have always buzzed my boys hair short, so after the shower--I buzzed my own. I thought it would be the worst time for me--but it was almost a relief. I didn't have to dread it any more. Afterwards I wore my wig for a while, then just switched to wig for special occasions and made hats and scarves a fun activity. Loved trying to come up with different "looks". And I did have three or four wigs--long, short, curly, etc. You'll never have a better time to try whatever look you want.

My hair now is darker, curlier and I like it better than ever. So try to have fun with it and you have brand new hair to look forward to.

Best of luck to you,
________
HoneyMila cam

[rinaina]

Kriss, you are not alone by any stretch of the means in your feelings of losing your hair. I felt that it was such a violation on my body and it made me realize, even though I knew this before it happened, just how powerful these chemo drugs are. But that is a good thing because if they can make hair fall out, just think what they are doing to the cancer! Shaving it right away will make it easier in the long run. I didn't do that immediately and it was horrible waking up everyday and combing my hair only to lose handful upon handful. I waited about 5 days before finally shaving it and it was too long. So I would advise anyone going through it to shave and be done with it. It was too traumatic watching it come out. It's amazing though how unimportant hair loss becomes in the scheme of things, plus you know it will come back. Mine is about an inch long now from root to tip and I ended chemo the end of July 2006. To me it seems like it is growing slow...perhaps the herceptin makes it grow more slowly...I don't know. I am just thrilled it is coming back...very curly and grey by the way. Getting it colored and cut to help tame the collicks and curl a bit. Kriss, we are here for you and never feel alone. Hang in there and I hope you are feeling as well as can be expected while going through chemo.

[KRISS]

Thank you for your kind words and encouragment. It is always nice to know I am feeling the same way thousands of other women have felt. It's just a shame that it is something some of us must go through.

The deed is done. My wonderful husband came home and we both cried for a minute, poured ourselves a drink and started hacking away. My hair has always been on the thin side and it amazed me at how long the process took. But we laughed and did some fun things and in the end it is not so bad. Just a little cold on an 18 degree morning here in Indy.
Thanks again for the stories and advise. I'm sure I will be asking for more as I go along. Have a peaceful day. Kriss