How Much to Tell

Ceesun · 01-01-2007, 08:56 PM

Happy New Year Everyone....Can anyone provide feedback on how much to tell co workers about my bc situation? When I went thru initial treatment of course -2003-everyone knew as I was off work with chemo etc. But now, over the summer I had a recurrence and besides my boss have not told anyone.. I am able to work with xeloda, navelbine, and herceptin so it is not so obvious although there are subtle changes of course. Anyway, a co worker and friend said I seem quieter lately and asked me if all was ok so I plan to tell her........what about the others......... there are a few I trust and feel more inclined to tell. I am a teacher and just did not want this bc to get in the way at work---with teacher colleagues, students, parents...you know how that goes. Thanks for listening. Ceesun

VaMoonRise · 01-02-2007, 04:30 AM

Hi CeeSun,

I think it basically comes down to what you yourself are comfortable with or not. No one knows the atmosphere of your work place better than you. If you are comfortable in telling co-workers that you feel close to than by all means tell them, they are your friends, they care about you and would want to be there for you in any way that they could. If you don't want it to go any further than those personal few then ask them to please not discuss it with anyone else. I think you just have to go with whatever your heart and gut tells you, if you are thinking about it this much something inside you must be wanting to speak out. Try not to over analyze it too much and just go with your feelings on the matter. Your truly close friends/co-workers are going to be in tune to the fact that something is going on with you and naturally they don't want to pry too much but they also want to be there for you and they may not how if they don't know what is going on. Sometimes it is hard to remind ourselves that we don't have to go this alone, there are people who want to help and want to be supportive. You can always set up boundaries and if they are truly your friends they will understand and respect those boundaries.

I hope this helped some and I wish you all the best in your decision and in your journey.

Love & Hugs,
Nicola

Heart Sutra · 01-02-2007, 05:09 AM

I suggested to Sue that she keep her information at work professional. That is, to keep details only to those who absolutely need to know. She ignored me, and good for her. The Family Medical Leave Act restricts who needs to know what, and provides some job protections. Employers have some right to know some details.

Co-workers are another story, and no one knows your situation like you do. Here in New York, we use the "People Suck" rule of thumb for these types of decisions.

-Only kidding-

Nicola had good suggestions above. Sometimes you find allies, sometimes not. Follow your heart.