post-op mastectomy care

Heart Sutra · 11-28-2006, 09:13 PM

All of this is so helpful. You all added so much insight into this for Sue and I, we feel very lucky to have you all.

There are so many good points...

Audrey, there is no such thing as being too bold, we are asking for help, and you certainly gave it. SO I'll be bold (or stupid and big-mouthed...whichever lol)

Sue is beautiful, and I never considered her right breast to be the main attraction. I can only try to understand the emotions involved for a woman, and I don't pretend to have any insight at all into it. For me, and probably for many, many men... what matters is the person, the soul-mate.... not a breast (or breasts). Also for me, I was really surprised to hear her ask me if I would still be attracted to her after her mastectomy. I honestly never thought of it in that way until she asked. I always thought of my partner, my baby, and how helpless I felt to not be able to wave a magic wand and have all of this go away... Wouldn't life be easy then?
Your advice is not too bold, and it is not out of line, and is very helpful. I hope I don't sound overly emotional in my response. I write it because it is the truth. I am sorry you weren't told, that shouldn't prevent you from knowing it to be true.

chrisy · 11-30-2006, 12:58 PM

What a great "name" and speaks volumes.

Kevin, your response brought me to tears. Although some partners do not respond well to the stress of this diagnosis, and it can put a strain on even a good relationship, many (most?) feel as you do - you love the person, not the body part. It feels inconceivable that you would even think otherwise.

I, like Sue, am blessed with a loving husband whose love and support I never doubted. Despite this, I NEEDED, and still need to hear that he still finds me beautiful and still loves me.

This diagnosis, with all the associated physical and emotional changes calls everything into question - it shakes the very foundation of all that we believe to be true. We all - patients and caregivers - suffer most to see our loved ones hurting.

In the midst of all this, we seek reassurance that something is still right with the world. Having my loved one tell me AGAIN that he loves me helps put my world back in order.

Thank you for sharing.

Chris