post-op mastectomy care

Sheila · 11-27-2006, 09:28 PM

Sue

I had mastectomy surgery at 1pm and was having a cup of coffee the next morning at my own kitchen table...I didn't have pain, more of a burning sensation or numbness...my back and arm hurt worse than my chest....the drainage tubes are a nuisance, but my mom who also had a mastectomy, made me a soft little bag that went under my clothes and the strap went around my neck and the other arm...kind of a messenger bag for the drains...it was so handy, not pinning to my pants that had to be undone for every bathroom break! I didn't have reconstruction for a year and a half, but when I did, it was outpatient surgery. I felt tired for a couple days, but nothing realy bad...I recovered on chocolate chip cookies and soap operas...which I usually never watch...you will do fine....and you will be in my prayers for a quick recovery!

Audrey · 11-28-2006, 06:28 PM

Hi Kevin and Sue,
Five years ago, I had a simple mastectomy with reconstruction and a breast reduction on the other side at the same time. This was my first surgery and I was surprised at how out of it and awful I felt after waking up. Once the effects of the anesthesia wore off, I felt much better. I didn't want to use the mastectomy arm, though, but the nurses made me start using it as soon as possible. I think after about 3 days I was feeling pretty good. The worst part was the drains, since I had them on both sides and my husband was so grossed out by emptying them and not particularly supportive. Regarding the expanders and filling with saline, I've heard people say this was uncomfortable, but I did not have a problem, just take it slow and don't have too much filled up at once. Best of luck to both of you. Kevin, if I may be so bold, be sure to tell Sue that you still think she's beautiful and the mastectomy doesn't matter or change the way you feel about her. I never heard these words from my husband and that was really the most painful part of the whole thing.

Heart Sutra · 11-28-2006, 09:13 PM

All of this is so helpful. You all added so much insight into this for Sue and I, we feel very lucky to have you all.

There are so many good points...

Audrey, there is no such thing as being too bold, we are asking for help, and you certainly gave it. SO I'll be bold (or stupid and big-mouthed...whichever lol)

Sue is beautiful, and I never considered her right breast to be the main attraction. I can only try to understand the emotions involved for a woman, and I don't pretend to have any insight at all into it. For me, and probably for many, many men... what matters is the person, the soul-mate.... not a breast (or breasts). Also for me, I was really surprised to hear her ask me if I would still be attracted to her after her mastectomy. I honestly never thought of it in that way until she asked. I always thought of my partner, my baby, and how helpless I felt to not be able to wave a magic wand and have all of this go away... Wouldn't life be easy then?
Your advice is not too bold, and it is not out of line, and is very helpful. I hope I don't sound overly emotional in my response. I write it because it is the truth. I am sorry you weren't told, that shouldn't prevent you from knowing it to be true.

chrisy · 11-30-2006, 12:58 PM

What a great "name" and speaks volumes.

Kevin, your response brought me to tears. Although some partners do not respond well to the stress of this diagnosis, and it can put a strain on even a good relationship, many (most?) feel as you do - you love the person, not the body part. It feels inconceivable that you would even think otherwise.

I, like Sue, am blessed with a loving husband whose love and support I never doubted. Despite this, I NEEDED, and still need to hear that he still finds me beautiful and still loves me.

This diagnosis, with all the associated physical and emotional changes calls everything into question - it shakes the very foundation of all that we believe to be true. We all - patients and caregivers - suffer most to see our loved ones hurting.

In the midst of all this, we seek reassurance that something is still right with the world. Having my loved one tell me AGAIN that he loves me helps put my world back in order.

Thank you for sharing.

Chris