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This isn't so much a lack of faith, but it is about walking in someone else's shoes - on Friday I had my Navelbine appointment and then had to wait around the hospital for a CAT Scan - I was up around 6:30 to get to the hospital for 8:00 and my CAT Scan wasn't scheduled until after lunch - anyway, I was just not having the best days (emotionally) and when I entered the CAT Scan room the technologist (who was probably in her twenties) told me that I had to finish my top-up drink of that nasty stuff - I had chemo in the morning, and I just couldn't do it - anyway, I could feel the tears starting to come to my eyes and I tried to fight them back - I told her I couldn't drink it and she told me that I had to and then went on to say in a really nasty tone, "so, why are you crying anyway?" I was so stunned, I couldn't say a thing - all kinds of thoughts went through my mind like, "my first husband passed away when I was 27 and expecting our first child, I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 29 and I am now still fighting it(Stage 4) and will continue to do so for the rest of my life, etc. etc."
I just couldn't believe that she could have said that to me (and believe you me, when she asked why I was crying, she wasn't asking out of the kindness of her heart).
My husband met me right after the CAT Scan and noticed I had been crying - he immediately thought I had been given bad news - I couldn't even tell him why I was crying until we left the hospital because I knew I would probably break-down and just bawl there. Life certainly throws some curve-balls!
Mary
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