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Me too!
I had convinced myself that I was DONE with cancer after finishing treatment the first time, and less than a year later I am diagnosed w/ mets. It just wasn't supposed to happen. I, too, chant in my head "10 more years" until my daughter is 18, at least. At times I'm convinced my positive attitude will make it happen, other times I'm afraid I'm deceiving myself again and not being realistic. But we have to be positive and brave around our children. I know my daughter is scared, too, and given her young age, I don't want to freak her out more than she already is! I, too, feel that the fear about what any physical pains mean is worse than the pain itself (so far anyway), and that now is as good as it's going to get coz it's all down hill from here, and just that much closer to disability and/or death. Ultimately, I don't like to think that way, and just push it out of my mind and try to focus on how lucky I am, on all the blessings in my life, and really there are so very many!
Peace
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Liz
3/05 Initial dx invasive dc 2 cm lump, age 39
lumpectomy & 3 of 5 nodes +, ER+/PR+, Her2+++
alternative chemo 5/05-7/05, rad 8/05-10/05
7/06 dx mets to vertebrae, pelvis & chest lymph nodes
8/06 - 10/06 tamoxifen, herceptin, oophorectomy & zometa
11/06 PET/CT showed continued bone mets, new spot on liver
12/06 began taxotere/herceptin 1x/3 weeks,
2/07 - 2-08 NED!
3/08 progression, start taxol/herceptin weekly, monthly zometa
8/08 start ai & herceptin
12/08 - progression, start weekly navelbine/herceptin thru 6/09 & monthly zometa
7/09 - PET/CT showed improvement in spine, but 2-3 lymph nodes in chest became active
9/09 - 11/09 - weekly abraxane/herceptin
12/09 - PET/CT - chest lymph nodes resolved, progression in spine & pelvis
2/10 - 6/10 - start tykerb/xeloda, progession in spine & pelvis
7/10 - start taxotere/carboplatin/herceptin
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