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[Bev]

Hi there, I'm stage 2, ER+ PR+. So not exactly the same. It is an emotional roller coaster. I completed my AC and T & H and am almost done with Herceptin only. I asked for zoloft 2 weeks ago. I have anxiety attacks over all the medical testing. It reached a head over rads. Somehow I think anxiety has a root in hormones, but once it starts it's in your mind.

Someone posted that Effexor is very effective. Onc said Ativan is part of chemo pre-med. She also gave me a script for that. It is addictive and doesn't mix with driving. Doc said to use only when really needed. But I do know someone who does it daily and drives. She may really need it everyday.

Your sis sounds overly sad, don't know how long since she's been diagnosed. I know I was a wreck for a few months. Hang in there it gets better.

Onc nurse said if you tolerate one treatment well you are likely to continue that. Fatigue grew with time but severity of reaction did not.

I had the wierd wig avoidance thing too. I just didn't want casual aquaintances to feel sorry for me or speculate on what I might have done to deserve this. Now I'm being weird about people seeing me in my new short hair.

Get your sis onboard to vent. It will help. I haven't done it, but a local support group may help. Cancer sucks, but she still has a decent prognosis, no guarantees. I think about it everyday, but haven't cried lately.

Really, one day at a time and you'll get thru this. It won't be pleasant, but it is do-able. Best wishes, Bev

[Leslie's sister]

Ladies thanks again for the additional responses. You are an awesome support group.

Juanita- why did you have to switch to taking Zofran in the mornings rather than the evenings? I so agree with you about the best weapon against cancer being knowledge. That has been my weapon of choice since day 1 (well maybe day 2, day 1 was pretty tough). Leslie lets me do the research probably because of her fear. I have promised her never to keep anything from her so this arrangement (me researching and advising her is working for now)

Rinaina- Thanks for your kind words. I definitely agree with you on remaining positive I continually tell her how optimistic I am in terms of her prognosis and what I’ve read on the Internet. I know she is listening because she will repeat things that I’ve told her in later conversations.

Linda- you are so very similar to her including month of diagnosis (a year earlier). It is so uplifting to hear that you are back running and lifting weights. I am going to pass that information on to her as well. I have given her Maryjo’s email address and I’m praying that she makes contact with her. Possibly she will want to contact you as well. I will be in touch if she does.

Chrisy- Yes, I have questioned God at length about allowing this to happen to Leslie and her family again and so soon after the loss of her husband/the children’s father. Early on when I was really questioning God, Leslie wrote me an encouraging letter and quoted James 1:2 Consider it pure joy brothers when you face trials……. At that point I had to stop questioning, being angry etc and start encouraging her which was perfect timing really because after chemo started she needed me always to be encouraging. You seem to be encouraging as well, responding so frequently to others. Bless you! And yes we have learned the hard way-don’t chase nausea.

Bev-I will check out Effexor. I worry a little about the Ativan but since she reacted so violently when she stopped it, I figure that we can just face the quitting stage after her last chemo (which is late Oct. Yippee!) She looks so beautiful in her wig(s) (she bought like 4 of them) and will wear them around immediate family and people she doesn’t know. She just can’t bear to wear them around the rest of her circle. I have so learned not to pressure her to do things. In time I think that she will relax and go out into the world. It sounds like it is going to be a while before her hair is at a length that is acceptable for her anyway. I can’t imagine her missing out on life once chemo stops and she is feeling better. I’m going to continue to “suggest” that she come online and “vent”. I believe that she will get there. She is so frightened right now of disease progression, sad endings etc. Even to read one sad story just sends her in a tailspin.

Again, I can’t thank all of you enough. You are all wonderful. God Bless

[mts]

Lisa,

I have been on Effexor since the 3rd week of chemo (1/05)... it is given to breast cancer patients for the relief of hot flashes. It's normally used for depression/anxiety. I accidentaly went off the Effexor once when I failed to pick-up my prescription at the drug store. Big mistake. I had horrid dizziness and could barely drive. After I went to the onc thinking I had some brain tumor, the onc nurse asked me about my Effexor and figured out it was the culprit. Once I got back on it, I was fine. I know now never to quit it cold turkey. I take 32.5 mg (the usual dose is 75mg) and sometimes higher. Getting the hot flashes to go away was huge for me. I don't have that "exasperated" feeling anymore, I don't know if it has affected me psychologically or just the fact that no flashes makes me not think about my cancer... either way, I am happy with the result. I sleep at night!
I envy your relationship with your sister- I have one that lives 3 blocks away and has only called me once since my diagnosis 2 yrs ago. Fortunately, I have an awesome husband and support from his side of the family and good friends...
I hope things work out for your sister. Chemo does a number on your body and brain. Hopefully her mood will improve once she realizes that everything possible is being done for her. My best wishes to both of you.

Maria (MTS)

[Mgarr]

Lisa,


I had the same diagnosis as your sister at age 39 in December 2004 I was sure I would never make my 40th bday. I cried night and day for weeks, my husband was very concerned and there was always someone with me whether I wanted them or not. I am not big on medication so I sought out the breast care social worker and did lots of talking, crying and guided imagery. She constantly reminded me that my emotions are completely normal with this life changing diagnosis. It truly is a grieving process and your sister will be come thru it stronger & wiser. She is blessed to have a sister like you and I will keep her in my prayers. You have come to the right place for information, understanding, love & prayers.

Here is my email as well.

mpgarret@umd.umich.edu

Mary

[Linda]

Lisa:
Do pm me if you think it might help, and I'll send my email address. I'm doing well and can share a lot of positive support.
L

[sarah]

Dear Lisa,
Leslie's lucky to have a wonderful sister like you. I agree with others that she should get on board on this site and vent and whatever, it will help her.
Reading books which just take you away from yourself really helped add still help me - tv is a negative influence. movies are good also. I hope she will get into a little social interaction also even though she'll be tired.
She's at an early stage and I'm sure the doctors have told her there's no reason she shouldn't see those kids grow up.
Stay strong yourself and don't get too worn out. It's not easy being the care-giver and we sometimes forget to tell our care givers how wonderful they are and how grateful we are to have them. she should join a local support group - I'm sure there's one at the hospital. Also this is going to sound stupid but tell her to put on a fake smile - it does something chemically within the body - try it and enough times and you'll feel it, it's weird and won't change it completely but helps the stages to feeling better. laughing is even better.
all the best for your sister,
sarah

[SusanV]

Lisa,

I was just recently DX (August 3rd) and have done my share of crying and not sleeping. I am currently taking Ativan (as needed) and PAXIL before bedtime. I am starting my chemo next week, so I am no authority on that subject yet, but what I can offer is that in these last few weeks of dismay, what has helped me is purpose....One neighbor asked me to take care of a new puppy for three days..the distraction and need to care for something else was great. I also have small children 6 & 9, so I worry about them constantly. Make sure you notify the childrens teachers and principal about what is going on at home. If the kids experience any difficulty or change in behavior in school it will help that the faculty is in the loop. I know the principal at my childrens school was very receptive to keeping tabs on my children as they begin school.

I don't know if your sister likes animals, but my beloved golden retreiver gives me a lot of comfort. My dog actually works doing pet therapy 1 x /month at a veterans center. They say petting a dog reduces stress and lowers blood pressure. While taking on a new pet would be too much right now, perhaps a visit from a neighbors pet might help. And finally, my brother has accompanied me to all of my appointments, and I sent him a card recently to tell him how much I value his friendship. Stay close to your sister...and try to arrange fun things for her children to do with neighbors or other relatives to give her some breaks.

Love

Susan V in PA