Update from Lyn

[Lyn]

Well, hi everyone, I ended up at the Doctors, mine wasn't on at time, I was feeling as bad as when I was in heart failure, some of my problems were, I had Oral Thrush, infection in a cut finger, glad I didn't go ahead with the heart fluid biopsy, echo again of April 12, I keep falling over and I can't get up on my own, some chairs I can't get out of either, Dr said thrush from antibiotics I was on before. I read up on the Dexamethasone and it said that too much causes oral thrush, weakness in arms and legs, and trouble getting off some chairs and toilets, so I said to myself that is it, I cut back from the 4 a day to one a day, thinking this would do the trick, so when I went for treatment today I saw
my onc, of all things I was in a wheel chair, or my Ron has to walk beside me hanging onto the back of my clothes. Anyway he did some reflex actions on my limbs and has ordered a MRI of my head and spine, I know everyone is thinking the worst, he mentioned I wasn't as sharp to speak to last time, all I know is that I am very very depressed and seem to spend a lot of time either sleeping or trying to get up and not ready to face the world in a wheel chair. Then when you break it all down, my bloods are all ok, my bloo pressure is constantly low, 95/50 today, I am on Morphine 20mg twice a day, dexamethason 4mg 1 a day, Valium 10mg to sleep for 3-4 hours, my anti-depressant Dothep for nerve pain caused fibroymyalgia and my facial atrophy, forget the name for that one, but there is one, Neurontin 1200 mg day nerve blocker, Dilatrend 65mg to lower blood pressure, thyroid tablets, Ramapril and Digoxin for heart rythem, Lipitor for cholestoral, OH a multi vitamin for over 50, fish oil, and glucosamine, then we have Hercepitn/Gemzar/Taxol/Zometa, I think that just about covers it, why wouldn't I be a bit dull, I am on Uppers, Downers Sideways, and my personality well what do they expect. I do know that this morning because I was having treatment, to start off I didn't take the Decs, so I ended up with a killer lower back ache, I took 2 heavy duty pain killers, 2mg liquid Ordine and relented and took the Decs and left it out of the drip, I was trying to remember what pain I was actually treating, and it was my shoulder which had chipped again when I fell on my holiday, so rang to book MRI, and of course computer down so waiting for a call back, so I guess I do need to worry, any words of encouragement if it has gotten into the spine because at the moment I am not being very bright and cheerful, I am used to just being independent and getting in the car and driving, so the computer is OK at the moment and I am still at times running on speed, up all night doing house work and developed a compulsive obsessive disorder with the dec, that is the bit I don't mind because I can actually see what I have done, everyone says I should rest, problem is I believe if I stop using it I will loose it, and end up on the couch as a potatoe. My onc did ask if I had any new numbness I couldn't think, then I realised I get in the shower and find cuts and bruises I didn't even know I got, so I guess there is to some degree. Well I am still trying to raise a smile out of this, but then I look in the mirror and see a Cabbage Patch Doll image of me, and that is frightening, but my Ron loves me undconditionally and treats me like a china doll any way, oh and I do have a good appetite, so this is one of my tougher phases I have to work through., AND YES I DO KNOW I WON'T BE DOING IT MY OWN, MY TRULY WONDERFUL FORUM FAMILY HERE WILL BE HOLDING MY HAND WITH GENUINE LOVE PRAYERS AND COMFORT.

LOVE AND HUGS LYN