brain mets, please help with realistic pep talk. wha

I wrote in a thread a few days ago. to update: they found a bunch of brain mets on an mri. what set me is a pulling or a tic in my lip which heralded a brainstem tumor that needed to be operated on right away. I got an opinion on wbr and we drove to L>A. cedars'sanai fron the sf. bay area. I was very tired from surgery and decadron and we got all of 10 minutes there. No change in his recommedations for wbr which they suggest here from looking at my mri which is really' 'terrible' though no one will say it. Is there any hope for me? I am ready to do wbr and maybe get another opinion from ucsf whle I'm doing it. what about drugs that cross the bbb? I wnated to refuse wbr but I have been told that there are "too many" and that we should clean up the brain and then do sterotactic if neccessary. Slso he said that stereotactic will be too much radiation. Okay, where do i begin? The rad. onc does not seen to hold out alot of hope she goes by the book. But I want to think a liittle outside the box, what do I have to lose? She gave me the option of doing nothing which makes me think it it not really worth it. She says I will lose my hair (so what) feel sick, weak, can;t go in the sun, and stetch 3 months into 6. What's the point? I am very down with this diagnosis.