A rough week

[Tracy]

I have this on another board, but need as many positive thoughts I can.

I had to have a muga scan today. The girl who put my blood back in me blew 2 veins trying. My arm is killing me. She did it in my left arm and my bc is on the left. I thought it was only bad if you had a mast. I did not so I thought it was ok. Then the man who took my blood came in and did it and told me never to use that arm for blood or anything. I spent 45 minutes on my back on a table for someone who is very small, I was in a pediatric room....I have my 1st chemo tomorrow and I am so scared. Not scared of the chemo, but scared of the scan results I will be getting. I had cat scans and bone scans on Monday. I am having pains all over, feel like it is just traveling through my body and I can not stop it. I know I am grade 3 and her2+ so I know it is aggressive, what I don't know is how aggressive...does it grow tumors in days, weeks, months??? I had to wait 2 weeks after my last surgery to start chemo...I just wonder has it been growing more and more inside of me...I am so confused and depressed right now. I have been so positive and strong and tonight I feel as if I am falling apart.