Whats next?

Hi everyone,
All of your stories and information is so important and as I write the words the tears fill my eyes. I know that you are so brave and so stong and there are just too many on this website reading my note.
I'm about to travel across the country to go to a doctors visit with my sister. She is stage 4 her2neu. She is on taxotere and herceptin. She has had 4 treatments. She has mets to pelvis, spine, lungs. I am flying back for the results of her first cat scan of her lungs since diagnosis scans. I am very nervous for her, for me. I am staying positive, but she and I have discussed realities. I think I'm the one person she can do this with. We are both a little out of the loop of whats next if this regime has done nothing and it's spread. We've talked about Navelbine. How good is that? We're instant message freaks and spend too much time looking up studies, drugs, info, and IMing them back and forth. I don't think we're prepared for the bad. Is that ok? Is it really one step at a time? We were so progressive at the begining of all this. Each drug and the studies on them became daily readings. We've been coasting for some time now and I feel out of the loop.
Can my sister really live beyond 3 and 1/2 years?...with what we have to work with now? I want to really hear back from the people who've gone beyond the stats.....how many are there of you?
thanks for the frank info
stacy