Here I go being Silly AGAIN!!!!

Well, this year has been an experience! At 33 I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer, and I am half way through Radiation. My doctor after my second surgery, told my mom my cancer being the bitter, evil and can't leave out wicked little HER2 bug was pretty aggressive, and since it had spread ONLY (thank goodness) to the nodes, that I not being diagnosed quickly (Mamogram came back clean, did the biopsy thinking it was to remove a CYST!) that I may not be here at Christmas. Well it is Christmas now, and I am just pooped. I went to Disneyland last weekend, and CRIED like a BABY at the Fireworks. I have never been a heart on my sleeve kinda gal, although many knew when I was upset with them. I guess just never tears.
I am not sure if I am just tired as I am now working like 40 hours a week while going through the radiation, working Security in Retail so that alone right now is horrible. I just really want to snuggle up on the couch this Christmas with my honey and be thankful that I am here. I dont want a lot of hoopla or bells and whistles, I just want to get through treatment.
I know I have ALOT to be thankful for and I appreciate all my family and friends, but I am not through this yet. I kinda want me time... how selfish am I being????