More Chemo or Surgery

I was wondering if there was anyone that could give me some info. I was diag. with BC that had spread to my sternum bone and maybe a spot on the lung their not sure because they don't see it now.I've been treated for 2 1/2 yrs. with chemo + herceptin, then just herceptin, then hormonal treatements now chemo again which now is not working , they've found a new lesion in the breast and a lymph node under my arm that does't look good. Up until now they've told me surgery was not an option for me because it had already spread so there was no since in taking my breast off. I ask for a multi-disciplinary-conference where they take my case in front of a board of doctors oncologist, surgeons, and a radiation doctor. They are now telling me that I should have surgery because the breast tumor is continuing to grow and it could burst through the skin and now that its in the lymph node it will also spread. So far I've been on Adrimyicin, and Taxol I know that there are some more chemos I can try, I'm afraid if they do surgery that it will really spread like wildfire when they remove the primary tumor.I hope you can make sense of this, anyone out there with a similar situation or some input I would greatly appreciate it.