How can I keep my mother positive?

[jgneco]

I am Rosa's mother and I am sorry to worry her so much. I have always been a caretaker and now I am depending on husband to care for me.
I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in Nov 09. I have her2 (neg estro. & pro.)level 3. I was a healthy 54 year old woman who used to work out daily and ate right.
I have no one in my family with cancer, so it too me a long time to accept the fact that I had cancer. I had one chemo which almost killed me. I was bedridden for 10 days and could not keep anything down. I lost 10 pounds in 6 days and had a fever and a constant headache.
I will go tomorrow for the second chemo round and I am terrified. When I communicated the problems to my doctor and other cancer patients that I met, I found out that the anti-nausau (ONDANSETRON) was giving me a migrate headaches and pain medication, OXYCODOND medication got me very sick.
I was throwing up and had diarrhea for 4 days.
I went to the hospital and got hydrated and felt better for one day.
Then I had a fever because I had a some type of infection. The doctor gave me antibiotic (CIPROFLOXACIN-HCL) which gave me a immediately reaction. I started shaking and could not stop my body from shaking. I also started thinking of suicide. The doctor was called and allegery medication was given to me. I was also given anxiety medication to calm me down.
Yesterday, I got a power port put in because I ran out of veins. That should make my Chemo easier.
I was a strong single mother who raised three children, who are successful and good human being. I struggled all my life but this is a struggle that I have no control of.
I thank you all that responded to my daughter's concern. I will try Chemo again because my love ones have convince me. I just hope that I don't die from treatments...