I'm so tired of this! (Venting again!)

[Chelee]

I have no one else to complain to that would understand...so unfortunetly I will do my whining here. (Maybe I could have a little cheese with my wine.)

I am regretting every having had this surgery to my femur! All it did is cause almost a 3 month delay in starting my chemo. It's caused me unbearable PAIN! Since starting the Navelbine it's been very tolerable which means I COULD of been enjoying myself all this time. But due to the hip surgery I can't do anything! I'm just stuck in the house attached to this darned walker & I hate it! It doesn't seem like its getting any better.

The Ortho surgeon never once implied I wouldn't be walking on my own LONG before now. This is really ticking me off if you can't tell. Time is going by while I just SIT here every day. I can't walk my dogs, exercise, grocery shop, run needed errands...nothing! Heck, I can't even do much needed house work. The house is a pig sty and I'm just fed up with this entire ordeal. Time as you all know once dx with bc is valuable. When I think of all I could of been doing all this time I really get angry!
My onc and Dr. Slamon's NP both said before I had this done that they did NOT see anything on my x-rays or scans to make them think my femur would break. I'm starting to wonder if this surgery was really that necessary at the time?!

The pain I had in my right hip prior to the surgery wasn't that bad. Easy to live with. Now that pain is off the charts...it's killing me and it is 40 days post-op today. Shouldn't it be getting better by now! I take eight Norco a day for pain...along with Hydromorphone 4 mg every 4 hrs. On top of Ibprofin throughout the day. My hip is killing me, and right above my knee where he put in screws or whatever hurts like heck!

The ortho sure didn't tell me much before the surgery. He made it sound like I'd have a few days of pain after surgery and that would be it. The way he presented things to me I assumed I'd be walking on my own about 14 days after surgery. (But not even close!) I can just now take baby steps without my walker or cane but it's so painful I don't even try. Maybe when I started the Navelbine 14 days post-op that affected the healing of my hip which is why I still have so much pain? I have noticed since the chemo the hole that had the JP drain is still barely healed up since the Navy beans screwed up my counts. It's just a big scab...and after 40 days it should of been gone. I just still wished I'd done a few months of chemo FIRST...then had this surgery if it was even that necessary. I am just so down and depressed...this is going on forever. I'm so tired of just sitting here every day waiting to go have chemo every Monday. Life is just passing me by.

Sorry for the venting...but I can't even tell you how ticked off I am about this whole situation. They said repairing the femur BEFORE it fractured would be so much better...I'm really starting to question that. Easy for them to say since their life goes on and I sit locked up in the house. (Ok...I'm done whining & complaining for the moment.)

Chelee