OK my opinion...Like it or not

[Sherryg683]

My friend Susan died at age 40 and left behind 2 teenage boys. Her husband started dating within months of her death. Her children were put on the backburner. One of them said to me.."i've not only lost my mother, I feel like I've lost my father too". To me this is unthinkable that he was not there for them when they needed him most. One of them got into drugs seriously while he was making himself feel better. Can I "judge" his action...I can sure have my opinion, if you call that judging. I would hope that if I died, my husband would consider what's "best" not only for HIMSELF but for the people that we love, our family and our familys feelings, even friends of the loved one. It's not always about what's best just for "us". If the world were ran like that, we'd all be in trouble. When someone dies, it is not just the spouse that suffers. I think of my husbands secretaries parents when they received the call from their "son-in law" a little more than a month after she died telling them that he was dating someone. They were so hurt and devistated . I'm sorry, this is just plain disrespectful. Personally, I cannot see how jumping into another relationship right after your spouse has died could possibly be best for anyone. I can understand being lonely, hurt and devistated and usually good decisions are not made when feeling like this. I also question the intentions and character of someone who would get involved with someone who's spouse had just died. I think that's why there should be some space, a grieving period, so that everyone involved can heal and be helped. Then of course move on with your life. Susans husband told everyone that he had been "grieving" for Susan for a year (the time she was sick). That was why he was so ready to jump out and move on with another woman. Everyone thought it was a bunch of bull and suspected him of seeing this woman while Susan was sick. Her children, family and friends suffered dearly from his actions, which were just plain out wrong and selfish. I still have to believe there is a right way and wrong way of doing things.
sherryg