scared - results on Thursday for new her2serum test

[margiermc]

It seems like it comes around fast, every 2 months I have tumor marker test, now the her2 was added. I
have been in a bad mood, crying, on and off laughing,
and it's on my every minute thought - I'm now NED,
but, this thur. can change. How scary. I'm very
nervous. I find guilt in myself. I found the lump a year ago, missed mam. for 2 years, was too busy - caught up
with buying a new home, teaching and raising 2 teenagers, - sounds like the all american household - but, it's now come to a standstill. My new home, I no longer care about, my kids worry about me all the time, I no longer am a full time teacher (on and off sub), and
I seem to be upset with my mother all the time - she is 89 and I took care of her - now, who is the one that is sick- me. At age 47 - I am the youngest - no history breast cancer, the only one losing my hair, chemo and now seeing the dr all the time. A club that I never expected to join - breast cancer. But, I do have faith - God will heal me - that is what I count on - that is all I cling to,
faith.