Help for my mother-long-sorry

[Jo40]

Hello all-

I am posting for my mother, as she has expressed her pleasure that I scour these sites as her "advocate". My mother was diagnosed on 2/9/09 with ER+/PR+/Her2+ breast cancer, Stage IV, with bone mets to the hips, spine, pelvis and both legs. She spent 40 days straight in the hospital after an emergency hip replacement and radiation to the hip. They decided not to radiate the other areas as there are too many lesions, albeit small lesions, to be effective.

She was started immediately on Arimidex, and then a few weeks later, Herceptin every three weeks. She also receives IV Zometa every four to six weeks. She was told that all of these drugs will be a permanent part of her life.

From everything I have read, women who have hormone-receptor positive cancer are the "lucky" ones, since there are apparently many options in the drug arsenals. On the flip side, everything we have read implies that the Her2 piece of the puzzle causes the cancer to be quite aggressive and much harder to control, and that Herceptin/Tykerb can extend someone's life span by a year or so.

My mother is only 63, and was extremely healthy, with never a day spent in the hospital, and an extremely healthy heart (proven by 2 MUGS scans).

That said, I feel like when I look here, and also at BcMets.org, that women go from being fine and with clean and stable scans to being on hospice care, sometimes within mere months.

I feel like having any hope is a waste of time, and is just going to hurt all of us more in the end. It feels like the Her2 is such a death sentence.

Am I wrong for feeling this way, and are there happy endings? I have been reading an awful lot of sad endings in recent weelks, and my optimism is in the tank.

I appreciate any encouraging and realistics words, no matter how painful they may be to read.

My best to everyone on here, who are all so brave!

Jo