Mixed Emotions....

[Mary Jo]

Hello everyone,

I felt the need to comment after reading Maryls' response to Andi's thread. Marlys said that she often feels guilty often times because she is doing so well while others are not so that it is hard for her to share her good fortune. I felt it important to respond because I think many of us who are doing well feel the same way as she does.

Speaking for myself, I know that I too (at times) find it difficult to share what might be weighing in on my heart on a particular day when others burdens seem so much heavier than what I might be experiencing.

However, after reading Marlys' reply and thinking about how I feel sometimes as well, I felt it important to say that I believe that's what makes our board and our life unique. We are all different - we are all going through different things - we have all had cancer or have cared for those who do - we all are at a different place as far as our disease goes BUT the one thing we all have in common is that WE WANT TO LIVE. We want to be healthy. We care for each other in a very real way and we all want to learn as much about this disease and it's treatment's as we can. Also, we have many new members join our board each day, and there is hope from each of us to offer to them. If you are stage 4 - look at how well many of you are doing - that brings hope to those just diagnosed with stage 4. For those of us who were early stage and are currently NED we offer that hope that it is possible for this stuff not to come back and that the challenges of treatment are worth it and can pay off.

Anyway, I certainly do understand what Marlys is saying because I feel as she does often times. Who wants to toot their own horn, as it were, when someone else is not doing well. No one does. But, we need to share what's innermost in our hearts to keep this board real (but only if we share NICELY - ) and for those of us who are doing well - we too need that encouragement from time to time as well. Only another sister or brother who walks our road can truly understand our sorrows but also our joys. We need to share those as well. Afterall, living with a cancer diagnosis has it's own issues all on it's own. So let each of us share our hearts. Let's bring our joys and our sorrows so each of us can hold each other up. Some of us may be light as a feather with burdens - so easy to hold up - but others may need every hand possible to hold them up - so we must.

Love to all of my sisters and brothers on this board.

Mary Jo