Why do I want to quit now?

[danceswithrain]

Finished chemo TCH in Aug.07, surgery end of Sept. Finished Herceptin April 08. I wanted so much to get it all behind me. So why am I so depressed? Have been fighting this depression since Nov. am estranged from my family, my husband, just lost my job. I have been fighting this depression. I am on anti depressants, I was seeing a counselor but now I can't afford it.
I feel like my whole life is upside down. The first part of the depression caught me off guard. But now I live with it every day. My life seems so empty. I have a beautiful new granddaughter and 3 daughters one who lives with me. They should be enough to give me reason to go on. My husband loves me alot but we are living thousands of miles apart because of my stepson.
I have always been a very strong person and powered thru chemo. But since the surgery I have fallen apart and can't seem to get on my feet no matter how hard I try.
I posted here during chemo but have been lurking in the background since. I have lost my spirit and motivation. Besides all the normal after effects I have developed chemo brain very bad. I am seeing a nerologist to do some electrical scan on the 28th.
My question? Has anyone suffered this much 'after' treatment? How do you get back on your feet and want to live again?