Update on how would you feel

[nitewind]

I just want to thank all of you for being there for me. I read each of your comments, out loud, and by the time I was finished, I truly felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. I was so overwhelmed at how much everyone cares. I think that I've really come to understand the term "sisters". I just put a call in to my oncs office to see if they can set up a time for me to go in and talk to him. I stressed that I needed to see him not talk to him on the phone. Well, I just got a return phone call and they don't know it they can squeeze me in to see the doctor. I spoke with a nurse and she wanted to know what was wrong, so I explained to her. I simply need to know why, after all this time, what prompted him to put "poor prognosis". After a year and a half of talking myself into believing I was going to be fine, he took that away with one sentence on the bottom of my chart. Long story short, she is going to call me back.
A lot of you asked how I got to see my chart. In the chemo room our charts are sitting right next to us and we are encouraged to read them because they are about us. I've read through mine many times. Also, some asked if I had other medical problems and the answer is no, unless depression is considered a medical problem, I mean, I know it's a medical problem but not like a life threatening thing.
Also, my oncologist is a not a breast cancer specialist but a general oncologist.
So, now I'm waiting to see if I can get in to talk to him but I just wanted to let everyone know where I'm at at the moment. I can tell you that thanks to all of you, I'm in a lot better place than I was last Friday when I left the chemo center. Your replies meant so much to me and you brought me out of a deep dark hole. I love you all.
I'll add to this update when I get to speak with the doctor.
Thank you again, I'm so blessed to have all of you in my life.
Hugs