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Wonderful Ladies,
I don't think I've ever felt more indebted and more grateful as I do now that I have been the recipient of so much support from family, loved-ones, and friends... all of you who come out to give me words of encouragement.
Sometimes my spirit feels so wounded. How, why does something like this happen? Then, I see those little babes at the hospital, bald with baseball caps, and I know that none of us "deserves" this; none of us did anything to cause this to happen. Nonetheless, when feeling crummy, it's easy for me to remember how healthy and strong I felt 4 months ago and lament that I'm hobbling along more slowly than my 14 year old dog.
My man-friend shared a quote with me today from Martin Luther King. It may be inspirational to some of you:
From M.L. King, Jr., “Suffering and Faith” (1960)
“My personal trials have also taught me the value of unmerited suffering. As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways that I could respond to my situation: either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course. Recognizing the necessity for suffering I have tried to make of it a virtue. If only to save myself from bitterness, I have attempted to see my personal ordeals as an opportunity to transform myself and heal the people involved in the tragic situation [that] now obtains. I have lived these last few years with the conviction that unearned suffering is redemptive.”
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This round of after-effects seems to be going a bit better than the first. My oncologist stepped me down gradually with the Decadron so I didn't get shaky or have such a strong pulse. I still wonder if the Zofran doesn't make me feel sick in-and-of-itself. Anyone have thick-headed, woozie feeling from the Zofran?
By the way, my onc also halved my dose of Neulasta which may have lessened the flu-like feeling but clearly is working because my joints and legs are achy.
Andi: As for "tummy problems": I generally feel a little sicky but not totally nauseated. I generally feel HUNGRY but don't necessarily feel good after I eat.
Maryanne: Your bio mentions Diep reconstruction. You look very slender and I wonder if your reconstruction left you pulled tight! I didn't have a lot to donate for reconstruction, and I'm still tight in the abdomen. I'm not in bad shape, but if I get any pressure in the abdomen, it's exacerbated by the tightness. How did your recovery go with that?
Going to rest,
C.
=)
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