Thankyou God, for Your Peace

lu ann · 10-31-2005, 10:16 PM

I had a Ct scan today to check progression of disease as my tumor markers are up to 119 (ca27-29). I can honestly say that I am at peace whatever the results are and I give all the glory to God. In the past I would be so overcome with fear and anxiety that I could not function. I felt like I was on death row, waiting for execution. I can remember years ago when I was stage 1, it would take 3 weeks to get the results back from blood work and xray-s. I would be in constant worry that the dreaded disease would come back. Now I live with it day to day without it's absence and I am at peace most of the time. November 1, is the 14th anninversary of my mastectomy. I would of never dreamed I would come this far down this road in life. My body will someday die, but my soul will live forever. Thankyou Lord and Thankyou Friends who have given me hope and support. Blessings and Love, Lu Ann.

jojo · 11-01-2005, 01:03 AM

I am in California, so now the time is 1 minute away from 12 midnight. But I am gonna send you some anniversary / congratulatory hugs to you right now, anyways! Lu Ann, happy anniversary! :-) It is so great to hear from long-term survivors.

Please do update us, when you get your scan results. I am also having my own CT scan tmw morning (Nov 1). Since you already beat me to it, I hope that you do receive your news before I do! :-) I will definitely find out this coming Thurs, when I go in to see onc.

Take good care of yourself, Lu Ann.

CherylS · 11-01-2005, 04:43 AM

Dear Lu Ann,

I recently read this quote by Oswald Chambers: "Until you can come face to face with life's deepest, darkest reality without damaging your view of God's character, you don't yet know Him". Sounds like your there dear sister. I was just diagnosed in Feb. of this year, Stage 1. Some days I feel like I am not afraid of anything anymore, others I am scared to death. I know you know what I mean. But one thing is for certain, whatever our loving heavenly Father allows into our lives is for our ultimate best, and life here is at best a vapor.
How about I meet you at the sheep gate someday?

Praying for your CT scan and markers. I have tumor marker tests this week too. Would you mind praying for me?

Psalm 103:1-5
Cheryl

IRENE FROM TAMPA · 11-01-2005, 05:34 AM

Lu Ann -

What an inspiration you are to us. 14 YEARS !!!

I pray everyday that I can also be at peace with all of this and I must say I am getting better with each recurrence. I do so envy you that.

If I might ask, have you been in remission all of those years or have you had recurrences throughout the years? I am so sorry to hear that your markers have gone up and pray that the results of your CT are positive.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

Take care Lu Ann

lu ann · 11-01-2005, 07:55 AM

You are all such an inspiration for me.

Irene, I was dx. with bone mets Feb. 25, 04. After my origional diagnosis, Sept. 26, 91, I had several scares which made me so crazy waiting for results.

During my 5th month of chemo I had a TIA, which is like a stroke without the long lasting results. They could not rule out brain mets for 2 months. My oncologist could only give me 2 years with rad. tx. It turned out to be a TIA but the scare left me paranoid.

A year later I started having abnormal mamograms. I went through months of mamograms and ultrasounds without a definative answer. My surgeon suggested I get a mastectomy. I sought a second opinion. I had a biopsy where a wire was guided through the mass in my breast using ultra-sound. I felt like a shish-kabob. It turned out to be a benign fiboadenoma.

I remained symptom free untill fall 97 when I had a heavy period for 2 months. I had a d+c which resulted in atypical cells, so I had to have a total hysterectomy, including the ovaries. I sailed through surgery induced menapause. No hot flashes, facial hair, or sexual dysfunction. It was great, no periods and I thought I had added protection from BC since they took my ovaries. As it turns out I am ER - and PR -. Then I was dx. w/mets Feb. 04.

Thankyou Cheryl for that wonderful quote. I know what you mean about being terrified at times. I have it together most of the time, but when I am down I cry out to the Lord from the depths of my soul. Why me, Why did this have to happen to me? But I praise Him and I know that I would not have the relationship that I have with Him if I was never dx. with cancer. I know that heaven will be filled with all of us survivors!

Jo Jo, I have been following your story since the olympics last year. Have you had follow up MRI since your treatment? It just amazes me that you ladies have come through brain mets. You all have had quite the ordeal, but you still manage to live and love your life. And that is what we all must do. Cancer can take our body parts and make us sick, but it can't rob us from our joy unless we let it.

I went back and read some of the profiles in courage last night. If any of you want to read a story with insiration, read Mary Crawford T.(I can't remember how to spell her last name) What a caring individual she was. I'm sorry that I didn't know her like some of you, but her legasy lives on.

I love all of you and thank you for your support,

Blessings, Lu Ann.

michele u · 11-01-2005, 09:04 AM

Luann,

That's the Holy Spirit letting you have this peace. When you trust that GOD is in control and give it to him like you have he has promised to bring you under his wing and protect you like he has. Keep the faith and pray often and this feeling will never go away!!!!!

lu ann · 11-01-2005, 09:41 AM

Thankyou, Michele, for your encouraging words. I hope to someday meet you and the other board members. I turn 50 next year and I think I'm going to come out to San Diego next year to see an old friend and meet all of you at the next forum. Blessings, Lu ann.

TriciaK · 11-01-2005, 01:09 PM

Dear Lu Ann, I am so touched by your post and the replies. It seems as if faith in God is one of the prerequisites for survivors. I know I would not have made it for 20 years fighting BC without not only my faith, which is great, but the faith of so many of my family and friends. My family and my church family had a day of fasting and prayer for me when I was first diagnosed, and again 5 years later with my first mets. I was also given a tremendous spiritual blessing of healing, a "laying on of hands", by 3 leaders who are the stake presidency in my church, like bishops in the Catholic Church. I have never heard such a powerful blessing before or since. Shortly afterwards the MRI report of my spine stated "healed metastatic breast cancer." I remained healed for 15 years, until the summer of 2004 when lung mets showed up. I also had a heart attack and could no longer live at the 6000 ft. altitude where were planning to live for the rest of our lives. We had to move back down to the desert at sea level, where I can breathe. Only such a serious situation would have forced us to move, but God knew we needed to be here closer to our youngest daughters and their children. I developed a little motto about all that happened last year: "People make plans and God just chuckles"! I'm sure we've all had our plans unsettled by all we are going through! Yet I know also that we have all grown tremendously in compassion and understanding and faith by it all . I am grateful to know such great people! Hugs, Tricia

Patty H · 11-01-2005, 05:35 PM

My church laid hands on me for healing in the beginning. But the last time they laid hands on my husband and I and prayed for peace for us. This has kept us going for the last couple of years. There is so much difference in our lives now that we have peace. I want to live but I also can now accept what ever may come my way. Patty H

lu ann · 11-01-2005, 07:17 PM

The elders of the church layed hands on me and annointed me with oil. I believe there are those of us who are healed instantaneously and others such as myself who get their healing as a process. I needed more then just a physical healing.

Prior to my recent dx., I was in a deep depression. I wasn't living for the Lord, my kids were getting into trouble, I wanted to die. Then came the dx. I slipped deaper into that black hole. It took months of hard work, prayer and allot of faith to get where I am today.

If there is anyone out there who is feeling the way I felt and they can't cope with this anymore, just call on the name of the Lord. He is there for you 24/7. He will accept you right where you are at.

He loves you and so do I, Lu Ann

CherylS · 11-01-2005, 07:32 PM

As I was struggling to try to begin to put into meaningful words all that God has taught me so far through my illness (it's been kind of like trying to drink from a fire hydrant) a friend found a precious little book at a garage sale called "the Blessing of Illness". It summed it up better than I ever could have:

WHAT ILLNESS CAN TEACH YOU ABOUT GOD

It will teach you not to worry any more. You will learn to leave to the Father, in His love, to decide what is best for you, both today and tomorrow.

It will teach you to be dependent upon Jesus, who in illness is your only help. Only He can turn sickness into health.

It wants to teach you the mightiest prayer, which is highly esteemed in heaven: My Father, Thy will be done."

It will not let you go until you accept the cross, until you pledge yourself to it, until you have learned to say "Yes Father", and so cannot fall into despair.

It wants to teach you to humble yourself beneath the hand of God, because you recognize that "I, a sinner, need this experience".

It wants to teach you patience. Those who are patient will receive a crown, because they have endured to the end.

It wants to teach you to be meek when you are grieved by torments and hardships, so that you bear them without protest or rebellion.

It wants to teach you not to yearn for comfort and love, but to depend only upon God and to be triumphant over your irritability.

It wants to teach you to believe, even when human help has come to an end, that God is the Master of your body.

It wants to teach you not to think of yourself, but to suffer with others, to give them love and so forget your own suffering.

It wants to teach you the song in the night which brings thanks to God in suffering, because He gives us glory through suffering.

It wants to teach you to thank Him for suffering, because it prepares you for glory and brings blessings and joy without end.

It wants to teach you to bring forth the fruit for which God often looks in vain among His children, the fruit which only comes from suffering.

I guess the bottom line for me has been "do I really believe God is who He says He is?" I do. My life is in His hands. Truthfully, I am not afraid of dying. What I am afraid of is living with this and having my daughter's teenage years spent watching me fight it. He knows that. He loves her too.
I trust Him. God Bless you all.

lu ann · 11-01-2005, 08:16 PM

Dear Cheryl, That was wonderful. I saved it and will make copies to send to my friends. I too struggle with having 2 teenage daughters and a 21 year old daughter who have watched me be sick their entire life. I know first hand what it is like to have a mother who is always sick. It's no fun. But hopefully they will learn many life lessons that will help them along their way. Bless You, Lu Ann.

michele u · 11-01-2005, 09:49 PM

AMEN Luann!! I also had laying of hands and oil annointment healing. Maybe we should tell the Dr.s this should be on with the chemo schedule!! I'm so glad alot of you have such a great faith in the Lord. And other people on this board that believe in a higher spirit, that works also. Our bodies WANT to heal. They do not want to die. We need to let that healing power we have deep inside us let it do it's trick!!

mamacze · 11-02-2005, 02:34 PM

Dear LuAnn (Cheryl),

Absolutely beautiful peaceful thoughts and gifts you have given all of us on this cold November day. You are right; when you rest in God you can find peace even through the worst scan-waiting moments. Thank you for sharing.
Love Kim from CT

Sandy H · 11-03-2005, 06:36 PM

I have enjoyed reading each one of your posts. It is so wonderful to see such strong faith here. I have to say that I have enjoyed so many blessings from the Lord since my diagnose in 2001. I have that peace within that what will be will be. Some things I have no control over and so I put it in God's hands with prayer. My favorite verse is For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotting son that who so ever believeth on him shall not die but have eternal life. This disease can consume my body but not my soul. This doesn't mean that I will not be upset if my doctor should tell me that I don't have long to live. I am not ready to leave my family and friends today or tomorrow but it will be easier to deal with knowing that if that is God's will to take me home to a better place I am o.k. with it. My family and friends will be o.k. with it. Everyone needs faith to live with this disease and that is the only way we are going to enjoy what time we have left. May God bless you all and may you feel his loving arms around you. Hugs, Sandy