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02-17-2007, 07:03 PM
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#21
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 105
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It is a rare and special quality to be able to convey feelings through written words. You are truly special and we can all feel your sadness.
Each and every word I have read from you, Tom, has been so sincere and earnest, looking for ways to help your mother recover her health and quality of life. I have to assume your mother knew how special you are, as well, and was so grateful that she was blessed with you. May your pain be eased with the love and memories you shared with your mom. I know that if your mother were able, she would wrap her hands around your heart to keep it from breaking. I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you today.
Stephanie
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02-17-2007, 07:16 PM
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#22
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Norridgewock, Maine
Posts: 778
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So sorry!
I am in shock to read of the passing of your dear Mom. I know you did all you could and stood by her to the end. May you bath yourself in the precious memories you will have of her. It must give you comfort to know this disease did not get her. Will be interested, when you are able, to let us know what really happened. I think it is wonderful you are helping your friend out during a time that you must be low on energy yourself. May you receive strength and inspiration from this friend and yet you can return the same to her/him. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. God Bless you. Sending you a hug, Sandy
__________________
Dx. 03/01, Rt. IBC
AC/Taxatere
Rt. MRM-with graft Lt. simple
5 rads-skin mets
Herceptin, taxol, carboplatin (taxol seem to be the magic drug)
Navelbine & xeloda (did not work)
topical miltex for skin mets
Tykerb/xeloda
thoracentesis x 2 left lung fluid shows cancer cells
Port removal (4 years) with power port replacement
Doxil
Updated 05-07 Scans show no bone or organ involvement we shall see!
I shall not pass this way again. Any good I can do or any kindness that I can show let me not defer or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.
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02-17-2007, 07:34 PM
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#23
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,014
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Tom, you have always been so sweet and caring and truely an advocate for your mom. With your help, she was able to beat the beast of cancer. I don't know the circumstances of her death but it should be some comfort to you to know all your work in helping her keep her cancer at bay was not in vain. We all will go someday, and I hope your moms passing was in peace. There is no doubt that you will be reunited with her one day, you have been a dream of a son. You are in my prayers..sherryg683
__________________
Sherry
Diagnosed: December , 2005 at age 44
13+ positive lymph nodes
Stage IV , Her2+, 2 small mets to lungsChemo Started: Jan, 2006
4 months Taxotere, Xeloda, Hercepin
NED since April 2006!!
36 Rads to follow with weekly Herceptin indefinately
8 years NED now
Scans every year
Life is not about avoiding the thunderstorms, it's about learning to dance in the rain!
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02-17-2007, 08:29 PM
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#24
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Southern, CA
Posts: 2,511
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Tom, You sure have a way with words. The pure deep love you have for your Mother has always shown through your posts. Your Mother must of been so very PROUD of you. I feel like I know her from the way you told us about her. Your Mother had to of been one very special lady to of raised a son like you. My heart seriously breaks for you. I didn't get through but a few words of your post and the tears were rolling down my face.
This has to be such a difficult time for you...I can't even imagine. Please take care of yourself. My deepest condolences.
Sending you warm healing thoughts and prayers.
Chelee
__________________
DX: 12-20-05 - Stage IIIA, Her2/Neu, 3+++,Er & Pr weakly positive, 5 of 16 pos nodes.
Rt. MRM on 1-3-06 -- No Rads due to compromised lungs.
Chemo started 2-7-06 -- TCH - - Finished 6-12-06
Finished yr of wkly herceptin 3-19-07
3-15-07 Lt side prophylactic simple mastectomy. -- Ooph 4-05-07
9-21-09 PET/CT "Recurrence" to Rt. axllia, Rt. femur, ilium. Possible Sacrum & liver? Now stage IV.
9-28-09 Loading dose of Herceptin & started Zometa
9-29-09 Power Port Placement
10-24-09 Mass 6.4 x 4.7 cm on Rt. femur head.
11-19-09 RT. Femur surgery - Rod placed
12-7-09 Navelbine added to Herceptin/Zometa.
3-23-10 Ten days of rads to RT femur. Completed.
4-05-10 Quit Navelbine--Herceptin/Zometa alone.
5-4-10 Appt. with Dr. Slamon to see what is next? Waiting on FISH results from femur biopsy.
Results to FISH was unsuccessful--this happens less then 2% of the time.
7-7-10 Recurrence to RT axilla again. Back to UCLA for options.
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02-17-2007, 08:33 PM
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#25
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: northshore suburb of chicago
Posts: 1,093
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Tom, please accept my most sincere condolences on the loss of your dear mother. Through reading your incredible posts and replies on this forum, I feel I have come to know your very special family and in particular, you and your mother. You have a way of expressing yourself through writing that has touched all of us here. I can imagine just how supportive, helpful, caring, selfless, attentive and loving you must be in person. You definitely walk the talk. I lost my mother, my best friend, 5 years ago and I can tell you that for me, I don't think I will ever completely be done grieving, however it does get easier with time as they say. With that said, I still have moments when something, and it can be such a little thing, will make me tear up. It can be a song on the radio while driving in the car or a particular fragrance in a store. I was at a wedding once and just seeing someone's mother walk down the aisle did it. I was at a cooking demonstration and before I knew it the flood gates open. I tell you this not to upset you but to let you know your mother will always be with you because of the wonderful relationship the two of you shared. Part of the reason she can be at peace now is because of who you are. May you find comfort in those close to you. I hope when you are ready you will continue to share your gifts with all of us here. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Rina
__________________
~Rina~
Dx:3/06 had a lumpectomy April 19, 2006
Her2+ er/pr- Stage I Grade 3 tumor size 1.4 cm, node negative
AC 4 dense doses
34 radiation treatments including booster doses
receiving herceptin every 3 weeks since late August 2006 for 12 months
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02-17-2007, 10:47 PM
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#26
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Mountains of Virginia
Posts: 2,267
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Tom,
I am so sorry for your loss--I lost my mother 5 years ago to Alzheimers. Although I miss her still, the pain is replaced by joy from her life. May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
________
cheap condo in Pattaya
Last edited by sassy; 08-22-2011 at 09:07 AM..
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02-17-2007, 11:10 PM
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#27
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Henderson, NE
Posts: 413
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Tom,
I have 2 sons and i hope they grow up like you!!! Me and my teenage son have alot differences and fight alot. Listening to you talk about your mom is so awesome. I'm sure she was very proud of you! I'm so sorry for your loss.
__________________
Michele Ulmer
dx: August 2003 stage 3b 35 pos nodes ER/PR neg Her+
4 AC 12 weekly taxol
one year Herceptin in trial
35 rad tx
vaccine trial Seattle
NED
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02-18-2007, 01:20 AM
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#28
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Misty woods of WA State
Posts: 4,128
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Dear Tom ("Mr. Eloquence") -
We all feel as if your Mom was our MOM, the way you so lovingly described her and your fight to keep her with you.
My words are inadequate - but you must find a way to start to fill the void left behind. You can take up your time, but not the ache in your heart.
I am going with my Dad to see his cardio on Monday. His heart tests were not good and he has some bad blockages. It is so hard to see him this way - getting dizzy and even admitting to falling in the bushes after his haircut yesterday. I know there is less I can do for him than you were able to do for your Mom, but I keep you in mind as I struggle to understand what all is wrong and how it may be dealt with.
Sometimes I just wonder how I will get through all this, as we do not live in the same part of the state. You would like my Dad - he is a true gentleman and was extremely devoted to his mother the way you are.
I know God is with you and guiding you now as before in your Mom's last years.
__________________
"When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest." H.D. Thoreau
Live in the moment.
MY STORY SO FAR ~~~~
Found suspicious lump 9/2000
Lumpectomy, then node dissection and port placement
Stage IIB, 8 pos nodes of 18, Grade 3, ER & PR -
Adriamycin 12 weekly, taxotere 4 rounds
36 rads - very little burning
3 mos after rads liver full of tumors, Stage IV Jan 2002, one spot on sternum
Weekly Taxol, Navelbine, Herceptin for 27 rounds to NED!
2003 & 2004 no active disease - 3 weekly Herceptin + Zometa
Jan 2005 two mets to brain - Gamma Knife on Jan 18
All clear until treated cerebellum spot showing activity on Jan 2006 brain MRI & brain PET
Brain surgery on Feb 9, 2006 - no cancer, 100% radiation necrosis - tumor was still dying
Continue as NED while on Herceptin & quarterly Zometa
Fall-2006 - off Zometa - watching one small brain spot (scar?)
2007 - spot/scar in brain stable - finished anticoagulation therapy for clot along my port-a-catheter - 3 angioplasties to unblock vena cava
2008 - Brain and body still NED! Port removed and scans in Dec.
Dec 2008 - stop Herceptin - Vaccine Trial at U of W begun in Oct. of 2011
STILL NED everywhere in Feb 2014 - on wing & prayer
7/14 - Started twice yearly Zometa for my bones
Jan. 2015 checkup still shows NED
2015 Neuropathy in feet - otherwise all OK - still NED.
Same news for 2016 and all of 2017.
Nov of 2017 - had small skin cancer removed from my face. Will have Zometa end of Jan. 2018.
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02-18-2007, 03:49 AM
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#29
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,843
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I am very sorry to hear your news.
RB
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02-18-2007, 06:18 AM
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#30
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hilton Head Island, SC
Posts: 279
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Tom, as you can see we all are grieving with you. Thanks for sharing your life with us. I pray that your faith will carry you through this. kim
__________________
Kim
Diagnosed 7/05
Stage 3a er+(45%) pr+(68%) Her2+ (40%)
3.8 cm + .8cm multi focal - pleomorphic lobular tumors
high grade DCIS
7/20 nodes
BRCA 2 positive as of 5/07
surgeries: double mastectomy, hysterectomy (LAVH)
A/C,Herceptin for 1 year completed 11/06
femara
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02-18-2007, 08:05 AM
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#31
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Wilmington, Del.
Posts: 1,126
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I think you are kind to care for a friend so soon after losing your mother. Please remember to take care of yourself too. All my sympathy for your loss, MJO
__________________
MJO
IDC, Stage I, Grade 2
Oncotype DX Score 32
Her2++ E+P+, Node Neg.
Lumpectomy 11/04/05 Clear Margins
3 Dose dense AC (Couldn't tolerate 4)
4 Dose dense Taxol & Herc. (Tolerated well)
36 weeks Herceptin (Could not complete one year due to decrease in MUGA score)
2 years of Arimidex, then three years of Femara
Finished Femara May 2011
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02-18-2007, 09:06 AM
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#32
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 159
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Dear Tom--
I am so sorry for your loss. My father died on Feb 9th at age 87 after a long and active life. I understand what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you :-)
Val
__________________
BLOG:
http://valleygirlvnp.blogspot.com/
Dx 11/04, Age 42, ER-/PR-, HER2+++
3 months weekly Herceptin, Taxol. Carboplatin
Significant tumor shrinkage
Mastectomy 3/05; Stage 3b, 9 cm tumor, 5/8+ nodes
3 more months weekly Herceptin, Taxol. Carboplatin
7/05 30 radiation treatments, IMRT planning approach
Started 1 year of Herceptin 9/05
9/06 Began quarterly triple doses Herceptin. Brain & breast MRIs semi annually.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
6/08 Right breast, intraductal carcinoma, high nuclear grade associated with comedo necrosis; extensive diffusely involved the entire biopy specimen. ER+, PR-, Her2 unknown at this point, 07/08 mastectomy.
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02-18-2007, 09:48 AM
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#33
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 66
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Dear Tom,
I am so sorry for your loss. And, even in the midst of your sorrow, you thought about others – reassuring us that the "Beast' was not the cause of your loss. I look forward to hearing from you again as you begin your own healing journey.
With deepest sympathy,
Karen
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02-18-2007, 10:11 AM
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#34
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: IOWA
Posts: 243
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Dear Tom - I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You always impressed me as such a dear dedicated son, one any mother would be extremely proud of. My prayers are with you and may you journey through your grief and someday get to the point where you find great comfort in all or your wonderful memories. Thank you for sharing with all of us on this board.
__________________
Andi
-- ------------------------
Stage IIIC, 17 of 20 Nodes +, E+, Her2+++
Diagnosed 6/30/05
Lumpectomy 7/13/05
Dose Dense A/C x 4
Weekly Taxol + Herceptin x 12
Remainder of year Herceptin Every 3 weeks (completes 9/13/06)
Radiation completed 2/28/06
Currently on Tamoxifen
Dec 06 - Pleural effusion treated with pleurodesis
Now er/pr-, her2++
1/07 started weekly Navelbine plus Herceptin
Discontinued Tamoxifen
4/27/07 CTshowed progression
5/01/07 Began Tykerb/Xeloda + Zometa
5/22/07 Stopped treatment due to great progression
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02-18-2007, 10:29 AM
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#35
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 414
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So sorry to hear of your loss
Dear Tom,
I have always been impressed by how dedicated you were to your mother and what good care you took of her. You undoubtedly added many months, if not years, to her life, although it is sad that she is gone.
Best wishes,
Christine MH
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02-18-2007, 11:55 AM
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#36
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Webmaster
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Home of the "Flying Tomato"
Carlsbad, CA
Posts: 2,036
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Tom,
Our hearts go out for you. We know how close you were to your Mom.
Regards
Joe and Christine
__________________
A Proud webmaster to the internet's most informed, educated, COMPASSIONATE and caring group of breast cancer survivors.
Illegitimi non carborundum
My Album
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02-18-2007, 01:05 PM
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#37
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3,154
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Dear Tom,
I am sorry to hear of your Mothers passing. You will find comfort in the future days ahead knowing that you shared a beautiful life with your Mom. My Mom
passed six years ago and I had taken care of her with all my heart and soul just like you with your Mother. It is very difficult in the early years as they are greatly missed. But you can embrace your loving memories and remember happy loving days. (Many people do not have that) we do! Believe that is what helps gets you past the pain. Remember all the love and good things.
Your a one of a kind son and she was a one of a kind Mom.
She now lives in your heart.
Warm Regards,
Jean
__________________
Stage 1, Grade 1, 3/30/05
Lumpectomy 4/15/05 - 6MM IDC
Node Neg. (Sentinel node)
ER+ 90% / PR-, Her2+++ by FISH
Ki-67 40%
Arimidex 5/05
Radiation 32 trt, 5/30/05
Oncotype DX test 4/17/06, 31% high risk
TOPO 11 neg. 4/06
Stopped Arimidex 5/06
TCH 5/06, 6 treatments
Herceptin 5/06 - for 1 yr.
9/06 Completed chemo
Started Femara Sept. 2006
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02-18-2007, 01:12 PM
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#38
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 4,780
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Tom
I was truly saddened to hear of your mother's passing.
If only every woman with breast cancer had a son as dedicated, caring and selfless as you!
You are in all our thoughts!
Lani, dubbed by you "the propeller-head"
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02-18-2007, 01:35 PM
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#39
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 72
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My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Skeetur
__________________
12/01/2006 Initial Dx via stereotactic biopsy - DCIS, grade 3
12/27/2006 Lumpectomy w/ SNB: 2 foci of IDC (largest .3 cm, Grade 2, Notthingham score 6) amid large area of DCIS: No clear margins on the DCIS; re-excision recommended
ER+(55%)/PR+(60+)/HER2+ (2.8+ via IHC?)
01/23/2007 Re-excision Lumpectomy: No clear margins on the DCIS; mastectomy recommended
03/02/2007 Bilateral mastectomy w/ expander implant insertion
03/19/2007 Emergency surgery to fix broken blood vessel in left breast
03/30/2007 Met w/ oncologist; oncologist checking on HER2 status with pathologist and doing some consulting on my case - no treatments for now!
05/02/2007 Next appointment w/ oncologist
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02-18-2007, 02:30 PM
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#40
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,380
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Tom,
I am shocked and saddened by your news. My heart goes out to you and your family. Your mother will always be with us because your loving and eloquent descriptions will live on in our hearts. I have been in awe of your tireless devotion to her. She most certainly knew how very much she was loved by you, and that is the most precious gift of all. Please take care of yourself and post again when you are feeling up to it. You will both be in my thoughts.
Hopeful
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