Coming up for air - this is where I am at???

Lyn · 03-18-2006, 10:14 AM

Where do I begin, I thought I had posted before I went off air but can't find them, I have been unable to do much, well here goes, delaying radiaiton in case chemo doesn't work. Started Gemzar/Txk/Zometa/ Herceptin early this week. Stopped taking steroids bad move, I felt like I had been run over by a steam roller. Had Echo done, and as usual I set off all the bells and whistles. Seems my LV is down to about 46%, never been under 50% since I started in early 2001, that isn't the worst of it, they are not happy with the fluid build up in my pericardium and suspect the worst, had the echo doc, then the registra, then a specialist who spoke to my onc Boris, had it been available I would have been admitted then to drain and test the fluid, apparently not a lot but double last time but I am not retaining fluid to the lungs so not the heart, so Tuesday is scheduled for test and see, I am staying in hospital and of course Tuesday is supposed to be my next chemo session. My blood pressure has been low ever since I returned from the Cruise from Hell February 26, 90/55 and that was after I had been reved up walking a big distance from the car park, so it must have been lower before, docs do not feel it is related to my heart medication, but reduced it by 6.5mg anyway,I am still on eostrogen Blocker, I won't come into any bargains with that again, making it grow, if my arm hadn't stopped working they never would have found the tumour until it was too late, I see the orthopaedic specialist on Monday, my once bad now better arm is aching so due for more hydrocortosine, the pain is breaking through my 20mg morphine, anti inflammatoy nerve blocker, I don't seem to be able to feel the lumps under my arm any more but as not tests were done in the beginning I really don't know what is shifting them but I suspect it is chemo, that bit is good news but also means we know what it is/was. So I have been walking around like a drunken sailor in a fog since my first day back on land and torturing my toes because I can't feel them I am now on anti-biotics, penaccilin and I have orders to wear closed in shoes, good thing it is coming up to winter. So I had my pity party yesterday, I told everyone how ungrateful they have been and that I am only staying alive so as not to disrupt there life style, works for me a good reason to keep fighting on, I also made the oncs stipulate that the neck area is just pressure and not in the bone or chord, I can live with that, as long as it isn't on the march in my pericardium, don't really know if anything will be done different, just drain the fluid and let me go on my merry little way with chemo. Everyone has to get use to me talking 10 to the dozen and doing housework in the middle of the night, otherwise they will have to roll me around the house because I won't be able to move myself, I just have to watch what I eat, not like the first time, I was like a termite, if it ws in front of me I ate it, this time I seem to be craving fruit, yoghurt and fried rice.. I shall keep you all informed.

Love & Hugs Lyn

Lyn · 03-18-2006, 10:17 AM

white blood cells are low as well, so all stacked up against me.

Love & Hugs

03-18-2006, 02:53 PM

Bits me me laugh, bits filled with me with admiration, and bits made we want to cry.

Have you thought about trying and find a newspaper to do a regular slot for on your very individual outlook on BC and its impact on life.

RB

tousled1 · 03-19-2006, 07:10 AM

Lyn,

I can't and won't say that I know what you are going through. I will say however that you are a strong individual who inspires a lot of women on this board. Just try and think of yourself for a change - do what you want, when you want to do it. Hang in there, better days are around the corner.

Sandy H · 03-19-2006, 01:07 PM

Lyn you certainly, deserve the title, "Living Legend". You have been through so much and yet keep on fighting. I will be praying for you that Tuesday will end well for you and you will get some comfort and good news. hugs Sandy

Lolly · 03-20-2006, 03:40 PM

Well, Lyn, as usual you're up to your eyeballs in "it", and I mean that in the best way possible...that you're up to keeping those around you on their toes, and I hope they all know that we're all helping you keep an eye on things from our neck of the world too, so that should make them double sharp!
Fruit, yogurt and fried rice sounds good to me; be sure and throw some fresh minced garlic into the rice and fry it in light olive oil

<3 Lolly