lauren,
There is nothing I could say that would help you with this gripping fear, this acute anxiety. In a way, I am similar in that I NEED REASONS. I prefer a definitive dx, no matter what it is, so I can go forward with some choice and knowledge of what will come.
However, I have had to work on and learn to 'let go' because there are many/most things that I have not one iota of control over.
I have read so so often of gals asking: "what were your symptoms" desperate to know what to look for, yet so often there are NO symptoms whether bone, liver, lung or brain mets. Not to mention bc in the first place.
I am sorry you are in such turmoil emotionally. And I am quite certain you are not alone in this, either. You are just alot better able to express yourself.
hugs,
pattyz
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