Advice for friend

juanita · 05-03-2006, 03:53 PM

One of the teachers at the school where I work, just found out that his sister-in-law has breast cancer, just a few days after thaey buried his dad. She will have a partial masectomy around the 20th he thought it was. And he wanted to know what things people had done for me that helped, and meant the most to me when I was first diagnosed and had my surgery. I told him people bringing dinner helped the most and people just being there meant the most. His sister-in-law is 4 1/2 hours away so making dinner is out. So he wondered about a resteraunt gift card, which is a good idea. I don't know how old she is or if she has kids at home or anything. But what helped all of you?

jojo · 05-03-2006, 05:36 PM

Not only a gift card for a restaurant, but also for a food store would be wonderful, I would think.

MCS · 05-03-2006, 08:39 PM

some of my family members would take turns daily to call me on the phone just to say hi and would talk about their lives, not mine since it's a difficult time for all

MCS ( maria)

kristen · 05-04-2006, 05:08 AM

Hi Juanita,

Boy have I got a list for you:
My husbands friends lived out of state and they pooled money together and I had enough for someone to come in and clean my house once a week and that lasted for 6 months.
My neighbors pithced in for dinners.
One really great friend came over and weeded my garden while I watched and pulled what I could and just visited. That was a good day.
My children's friends came and took my kids out the day or so after chemo so I could rest and get them out of the house and have fun.
And also arranged for them to come over to there house to play.
Others would come over and fix dinner while we talked or I slept and that was always nice.
The cards/emails/phone calls always seemed to come at the right time.
The hardest part was me letting go of my indepence. But once I did that, I felt a huge relief and felt I had more energy to give to myself and to my kids.
You are very thoughtful and wonderful to have posted this to help her out. My best to her and you. God Bless.

05-04-2006, 05:10 AM

try to contact some of her friends to see if they are willing to 'offer help'..
:-}
Help by:
call to chat, drop by to cook a meal(s), do laundry, clean house,run some errands,call to chat, if has children arrange for a day of sitting so she can relax, drive her around so she can do errands, take her for a walk to chat some more! and if she says she doesn't need help - continue to offer the help!!

and lastly tell her 'Blessings from Minnesota!' Sheryl from Minnesota.