I Had To Put My Father In A Nursing Home

LOPSIDED · 12-01-2006, 09:34 PM

I WILL BE GLAD TO END 2006. IT HAS NOT BEEN MY YEAR. I'M TRYING MY BEST TO STAY POSITIVE BUT TONIGHT I'M HAVING A PITY PARTY FOR MYSELF. I HAD TO PUT MY FATHER IN THE NURSING HOME 24 DAYS AGO AND IT IS JUST AGONY WATCHING HIM DIE A LITTLE EACH DAY. TONIGHT WHEN I WENT TO VISIT, HE WAS VERY ANGRY WITH ME AND BEGGED TO GO HOME. THIS BREAKS MY HEART. SOMEHOW I WILL HAVE TO GET THRU HIS DEATH WHICH I KNOW WILL COME SOON. I KNOW HE WILL FIND PEACE SOON AND I TRY TO FIND COMFORT IN THAT BUT I AM SO VERY TIRED AND WONDER WHY LIFE HAS TO BE SO HARD. JUST HAD TO POOR MY BREAKING HEART OUT---THANKS FOR LISTENING.

Bev · 12-01-2006, 10:01 PM

Sheila,

Just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Been there with my Dad. There are just some things that are impossible. I offered to take my Dad to my home after a stroke, but the Docs recommended against it.

Hang in there. Try to find some meaning in the time left. Try to make dad happy, bring him his favorite food, or his favorite relatives. Visit often.

BB

tousled1 · 12-01-2006, 10:04 PM

Sheila,

Sorry that you are going through all this. I know it's a difficult decision to come to but one that had to be made. Hang in there, visit him often and show him you love him.

RhondaH · 12-02-2006, 03:28 AM

I'm SOOO sorry to hear about your father. Your 2006 sounds like my 2005. Luckily for ME, the doctors MADE me put my father in a nursing home and in hindsight, I now know that while it was hard, this was the best and ONLY decision that could have been made. I put my father in a nursing home on a Sat in mid Jan (can't remember the exact date) 2005 and the following Mon is "the mammogram" that would change my life (looking at what I would be going through for the next year and a half AND my mother also becoming ill in this time, there is NO way I could have taken care of him, her AND me). I didn't tell my dad about my situation until just before starting chemo (all the mini strokes he was having was affecting his brain too to where he was in his own kind of world) and was told by my onc, that I would not be able to see him while going through chemo. The Sat before my 3rd chemo, his nurse called and said it would be any time and that I may want to make an exception and visit him which I did on Tues and he passed away on 4/6/05, the day before my 3rd chemo. This is never an easy situation, but keep reassuring him that you didn't WANT to do this, but had no choice. Take care and big HUGGS.

Rhonda

chrisy · 12-02-2006, 03:28 PM

Dear Sheila,
No wonder your heart is breaking. What a lot you have had to deal with in 2006 - I join you in hoping for a bright 2007.

The situation with your father must be extremely painful and, yes, heartbreaking. My mother went through that with her mom. Many years later, as she was getting older herself she told me that if it ever became necessary to put her in a nursing home that I must do it and never feel guilty about it. She told me no matter what she said later, she wanted me to know that she had given and received enough love to last many lifetimes. Hold on to those thoughts about your dad.

Sending you a big hug
Chris