crappy news

Thanks for all of your responses. Unfortuntely the news was not what we had hoped for. According to the doc the scans showed "specs" in her lungs and her liver. Obviously, she and I are both devastated but managing (so far). I think so highly about this site and the wonderful members that I have suggested Caryn participate, but she's not ready. I pray that some of these great new medicines keep her around for years and years to come, for her 2 kids that need her so desperately, as well as me, who needs her no less. To use a corny but true line..."she completes me". Also, for all of those people that she ouches in such a positive way. The same goes for all of you amazing people out there.

I am so sorry for you and your family. I am sending prayers your way. Keep up the good fight.

Really not what we were hoping for you and Caryn. I'll be thinking of you and sending lots of positive energy your way.
Love, Lolly

Darn it all eric and caryn, I'm sorry that you've hopped on this ride, but, and you know what i'm going to say, it can really be okay (see my story in "profiles") And it took me a long time vbefore i could get on this site. My sister disseminated info from here for me and that was great. So you are doing a great thing for her with this. Take care of yourself too. Talk about your feelings with others like US . I work woth bc patients as a navigator and a lot of spouses confide in me because your own emotions and stresses are huge so don't hold back whaen you can chat with a supportive and safe person. Also in our community anyway we have a "Couples facing Cancer" program, which is nationwide and free and i hear great things about it. The folks who co-founded it wrote a book, "Love is a Journey" about facing cancer togther. The man is a metastatic melanoma survivor. i share an office with him and you would swear he's never been sick a day in his life! now i'm rambling. If you ever have need for venting, resources etc. write me or if you want a phone number i'd be happy to talk.
LOVE to you both, joy

Joy,

I'm hesitant to share my feeling with everyone here since I never wanted to do ANYTHING to instill any doubt in anyone elses head, but I am SOOO scared. I can't bear the thought of life without Caryn and the effect it would have on my kids. She's an unbelievable woman. Would you feel comfortable with me emailing you personally? My email address is etinn@optonline.net.

Thanks, Eric

Dear Eric,

Your note touched my heart as it has for so many of us here. My wonderful husband and I had gone through so many of the same emotions of a cancer diagnosis...and yours with a recurrence. I was diagnosed last summer with stage 3, very, very aggressive BC. I was nursing a nine month old little girl and had two boys ages 6 and 8. I was devastated as my husband was. It took time and a lot of faith but we pulled ourselves up and started the journey of life with cancer. I have learned from meeting so many wonderful women that your wife can survive this. She may have to adjust her thinking that it may end up being a cronic condition but a treatable one. I go in for a weekly Herceptin treatment and have been doing so for the past year. I have met wonderful amazing women but the one that I want to mention here is by far the most amazing case of a woman "living with cancer" that I personally have met. She was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer 20 years ago. She had a mascectomy (they didn't really even think lumpectomy then- at least that is what she told me) and she was NED for 7 years. Then 13 years ago she was diagnosed with a recurrence in her liver AND bones. She had an aggressive round of chemotherapy that wiped out evidence of the cancer in her liver but her bones needed to be treated. She had one treatment after another for her bones until several years ago when she started taking Zometa. Now she is NED on all...she just still goes in for Zometa once a month as a precaution. She is absolutely amazing. I felt so good just sitting talking to her. She told me she has seen amazing advances in cancer treatment in the 20 years that she has been living with it. She also changed her exercise routine, her eating habits and her sleep pattern which she said was a challenge for her to do. But she feels that it helped her in her getting the cancer into remission. Please don't give up the faith. Believe in it and what you are doing by reaching out is going to help your wife so much in this new phase of her life.
Warmly, Ruth

You BET! gratefulgirl@frii.com