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Old 08-13-2007, 12:36 PM   #26
Believe51
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: RHODE ISLAND (Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008) 'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume ALWAYS BELIEVE
Posts: 2,999
Wink Ahhh, Yeah!!

My husband and I were always very busy and had to always make time for things. Our needs are simple right now, I just want him to conquer this disease just long enough to know what NED feels like. We are going away on September 7, it will be his one year cancerversary and we need it to be a happy time, especially since his prognosis was not all that great at dx!!

That is the only plan we have right now. If he feels well, we go out (even if I am not into leaving the house!!). As for other plans, we do not make many anymore and I am still trying to get used to that. Sometimes I want to make plans or a surprise but do not want him to feel obligated to go or sad that he cannot.

How is this for our next plan??: The next plan is to meet some of our friends at a meeting with NED!! Again, even that may make him feel bad if he does not follow through, but cancer is very unpredictable and it is not all in his hands!! As for me, I will take him anyway he is and for as long as I can. He will never know how my heart breaks for him that he remain planless in his disorganized world. When he is feeling better, we will be making light plans with no obligations.

My Plan: My plan includes just being able to hold him when I am scared or happy and kiss that cheek as long as possible. I want to achieve that normalcy we so miss and slowly we are regaining. Baby steps right now, but we plan on making plans in the future even though that feeling of fear needs to go.

I am glad you are finally making your own. Like you said if not now, when?? Since cancer came, we have little fear of anything else. Hope you liked the motorcycle ride, nothing like the air flowing through your hair, I really miss the rides. Yes some may say that it is dangerous, but so is crossing the street here! Live for today Lovey...and I too cannot wait to be adventurous again. Keep running with the scissors, enjoy the car and let us know when you are doing the next grande adventure. This weekend we are going on a plane ride with a friend at night, it is that baby step again.

Cannot wait to grow up like you!! Keep Believing>>Believe51
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9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI
6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression
10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement,
NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5
12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue
Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!
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