[SoCalGal]

By the way, somehow lost this part of my reply earlier:

I have had two different kinds of reconstruction - was in a similar place, had to have bilateral, one breast/side not good candidate for implants due to prior years of radiation. I just didn't know what to do and each brilliant doctor gave me different options, none of which sounded right or wrong. All sounded scary and all were hard to figure out, even after talking to and seeing a bunch of different woman and their results. For me, the curve ball was finding so much cancer in what was supposed to be a local recurrence at the time, so it meant chemo after reconstruction, which was not supposed to be. Anyhow – I am just sharing my story and hope something about it will help you on your path…all is good now :-)

In spring of 2002, I choose a procedure that only a team at UCLA offered; called bi-lateral re-con free-flap MICRO nuero-surgery using my TFL's muscles (from upper side leg area). It was a HUGE surgery and as soon as I woke up I knew I made a horrible choice because I involved my legs, which were perfectly fine before I cut into them to make breasts. YIKES!

Then, due to skin lymphatic mets, they had to remove the involved breast and use my Latisimus Dorsi to close me up and get clear margins! None of these procedures were a one step surgery. They required refinement after weeks of healing and then the whole nipple re-constructing. It was an ordeal that sounded okay until you were going thru it. Again, in hindsight, it would have been better healthwise to be breast-less but not necessarily easier emotionally speaking.

All of these surgeries were finished in Jan 2003. It's been MANY years and I have had tons of time to use hindsight and it IS 20-20 just like the expression claims!

In a perfect world, women would simply remove breasts as a means of survival. This would be the easiest on our bodies and medical recovery. BUT it is then a hardship on our emotions - in getting dressed everyday, trying to appear normal, feel sexy, etc, trying to look and feel like ourselves. There is no easy answer or choice to this question.

I can say that the Dorsi flap was an easy surgery pain and recovery-wise and the scarring is not too bad. In my experience, what is bad about these surgeries, are the forever after-effects. I still have phantom itching around the scar lines. No bra is ever comfy for very long. My body on the dorsi side feels very tight - even though I am very limber, thin, in good shape, go out dancing, very active, do pilates, yoga, etc. To others, I look "great" but I do suffer with a lot of challanges from all the breast reconstruction. Many woman feel this just ("just!) from their lumpectomies, radiation and lymph node dissections. I think that scar tissue is an ongoing battle. If you don't continue to be active, scar tissue seems to tighten up, even years later. On the other hand, we all should use it so we don't loose it!

Well, pm me if you have any other questions I can answer…