[NEDenise]

Hello Friends!
I'm feeling much, MUCH better today!
The surgery was on Thursday...pushed a day earlier because of the pain levels, that drugs were barely touching. Intractable pain is what they called it.

From the time I arrive at the hospital on Wednesday, until the surgery was complete on Thursday, I was treated like a queen...a drugged up queen, in a lot of pain, but a queen, just the same.

Then...and those of you who have known me for a while will not be at all surprised by what happened next.
I came out of anesthesia,
intubation tube was removed,
I was wheeled into recovery...
was spoken to briefly by someone who was clearly not old enough to shave but who was expert enough in the practice of neurosurgery, to decide if I was going to be okay.

This fine young man said everything went fine. He told the "workers" in post-op that I could return to my room, and that I could have ice or juice whenever I wanted it.

Good deal, right?! That was at 5:17. One of the post-op minions gave me a tiny medicine cup - smaller than a shot glass - with exactly 4 pea sized pieces of ice in it.

They parked me by the door to the soiled laundry room - no, you didn't read that wrong - and no one came back to check on me until I heard someone say it was 6:50, and they were going to order their pizza for dinner. They were having trouble deciding between pepperoni and sausage. I hadn't eaten a thing in 18 hours at that point...and the 4 tiny chip of ice were a distant memory.

I asked someone for more ice or some water - at this point, my teeth were actually stuck to my lips, and talking was painful. "You're next, we're waiting for transport to come get you." I could really use a drink, I replied, my mouth and tongue are sore.

"You're fine", she said, "you still have most of a bag of fluid hanging."

It was then that I looked at my arm and noticed that while there was an IV line in my arm...there waddn't shit running into it!
No fluid...because I've been battleing low blood pressure,
no antibiotics for the bladder infection,
and NO, I repeat, NO PAIN meds at all.
It had been 2 hours since my 3 hour spinal surgery and I had yet to get any pain medicine.

I looked around the room, and realized that except for the staff members trying to decide what to order from Pizza Hut I was the only one there...
clearly they were NOT rushed off their feet!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it was then that something inside me snapped. Even with all the untreated pain I was feeling...
I sat bolt upright and announced in a rather determined tone of voice:

Excuse me everyone, I think I've gained just about all I can from my view of the soiled laundry room. It would probably be best if one of you would find me a wheelchair, so I can transport myself to my hospital room. I'll just be removing these IVs and monitors while you work on that.


Sadly, it was then that one of those post-op worker bees set down her 32 ounce Pepsi...with LOTs of ice in it, to come running to stop the lunatic patient (That would have been me in her view)

My state of extreme dehydration, coupled with that beautiful sloshing ice sound was a very bad combo.

Then, not knowing with whom they were dealing...they all adopted what I'm sure were intended to be calming tones, but telling me to stay calm when I am perfectly justified in my fury...OH MAN!!

Fortunately for their bodies, and for my perfectly clean criminal record, I was too weak to do much more that say loud things about my perceived mistreatment at their hands.

Then, my whole body started to shake, and I realized, I was crying, but I was too dehydrated for tears to form.

I don't remember who finally got me to lay down and wheeled me back to my room - she was dressed in OR garb not Post op. What I do know is that the nurses, CNAs Food service staff, maintenance, PT, OT on my floor...all checked in on me several time over the next day or two. "How could anyone treat their Denise" that way! Very sweet! (Boy does a good story travel through a hospital in a hurry!)

And the neurosurgeon, when he came to see me about my "entire experience" - that's how they always ask here...YIKES!

What they want to hear is something like"seamless", "couldn't have been better", "your team is certainly top notch".

Clearly, that was not the case. I didn't have the names of any of the people who were slackers and caused the problem...he says he can easily track that down himself...but I did make a point of telling him the names of every person who took exceptional care of me...because there have been many.

If you didn't laugh when you read this because you were feeling bad for me...go back and read it with the knowledge that it all turned out fine, and the part where I tell them to get me a wheelchair cause the IVs are comin' out...I wish I had video of those faces when they realized just how much trouble their poor treatment of me could end up causing. I bet they didn't enjoy that pizza as much as they thought they would!!

Thanks for checking in on me!
Still having pain, but nothing like I had before the surgery. And...I'm pretty sure I get to go home tomorrow!
Love to all of you!
Denise