[Andrea Barnett Budin]

I posted this in another thread -- CONTROLLING PHYSICAL REACTIONS TO STRESS. I felt it was so important I had to put that info in here...

Okay Ellie, I have been thinking about what you wrote all day. We cannot avoid stress. Yes, stress that paralyzes you is full of fear, and I believe that is humanity's worst enemy. Not the canser, but FEAR. The emotions that come from that emotion are highly toxic.

I believe whatever illness/dysfunction we develop as a result strikes our genetically weakest area. I had a paternal grandmother and paternal aunt who had bc.

Yes, w/a positive attitude whatever time you have is more joyful for sure!! But, I know people who had a positive attitude but deep into the night, their stress came out, as is common in the middle of the night when you feel totally alone in the darkness.

So as I pondered your words today I realized that though (between '95 and '98) I was positive, indeed grateful yet not cocky, I wasn't on guard. And I mean that in an amazingly good way.

After '98 I was on guard at the tower. I offered my gratitude more often and out loud. I spoke to my body non-stop, all day, every day. I made my Intention and my Expectation vividly clear, in words and with mental pictures. And I have read that these 2 ingredients are spiritually essential to our health!!

And deep in the night, when the pain in arm where the 21 lymph nodes were removed, I have recently read something quite life-altering. Ken Wilbur again, in The Simple Feeling Of Being, speaks of blocks we develop. And we feel it in our gut, in our chest, other places I didn't relate to as readily so can't recall at the moment.

So, I've been speaking to my body deep in the night, when the pain in my arm comes. I stroke it and speak to it. I address my pain and its derivation. I tell myself -- it's okay to feel that fear and sadness you felt in '95. It's okay to let those feelings up and out. It's okay to let them go. Let them go. And I stroke my arm, and you know what????? The pain has been absent for about 4 nights now. Incredibly gone.

My buried thoughts and feelings about the loss of my breast and the pain like a tourniquet tied too tightly around my arm, choking it needed to stop blocking up my system. I needed to release all that. And to cognizantly acknowledge it -- finally -- and reassure myself that it is alright to admit to that feeling of frailty and vulnerability. I don't have to be strong and brave 24/7. It's okay.

I do embrace each day. I do live with love. Hugs. Expressing my love in many ways, to those I love and to strangers. And I believe that energy is returned to us. I do it to give back, to fulfill our purpose in Life, to help one another. I talk to people as if they are friends, and they become friends.

I used to be so shy. I wouldn't speak up. Now, I talk a lot. As you might guess. I find out the most amazing things. People open up to me and they have Messages for me, and I for them.

And right, Ellie, let's not waste a single day feeling sad or separate. Life is too precious. Valerie and Sarah and Bunty know this to name but a few!

Keep talking to your body! Remember -- it hears everything you think or whisper or say. It sees what you see. And it obeys your subtlest of directions!!!

Love and Light,

Andi