Thread: Feeling down...
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Old 01-07-2016, 07:22 PM   #1
WayTooYoung
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 64
Feeling down...

Hello ladies,

Lately, I have been feeling really down. I am not sure if it's because of the winter weather or the lack of sunlight out there, but I feel frustrated, sad, hopeless, and just tired of all these treatments and appointments. Is it normal to feel this way? Right now, I feel like I am the only person in the world that is going through this. When I go online to check FB and Instagram, I see other people dealing with this horrible disease with such pizazz and strength and I wonder where my strength has gone. To top is off, the pain in my back from spine mets is pressing against nerves and causing me pain. Some days, I feel really unmotivated to leave my bed.

I have stopped going to the gym and I took time time off work to try and focus on my healing, but now I am beginning to feel like I am losing myself altogether. Has anyone ever felt like that? It's a pretty scary feeling.

If anyone can chime in and share their thoughts, experiences, and words of wisdom with me, I would really appreciate it. I am in real need of some words of encouragement...

Thanks in advance

N
__________________
Feb/2010-Diagnosed with IDC ER+, PR+, Her2+++(age 28)
Mar 2010- 6 Rounds of FECT (made me sick as a dog)
Jun 2010- Finished chemo
Jul 2010- Mastectomy +12 lymphs (4+)
Oct 2010- Radiation/Begin Herceptin (Her2 was overlooked by my Onco!)
Sep 2011- End of Herceptin
Nov 2011- Recurrence-->Chest Wall, muscle, and possible lymph (ER+, PR-, Her2+++)...WTF!!!???!!!
Feb 2012-Randomized for Clinical Trial
Feb 2012- Begin blind study either TDM1 w/Pertuzumab or TDM1 w/Placebo Pertuzumab
Jan 2013-2nd Recurrence, off TDM1...what next?
Feb 2013-chest wall resection
Feb 2013-Begin Zoladex :(
Apr 2013-Begin Femara
Jul 2013-Oopherectomy + both tubes
Oct 2013-Chest wall recurrence same spot...Dr monitor
Nov 2013-New nodule on chest...restaging...bone/ct clear...continue to monitor
Mar 2014-Surgeon fr/dif hospital confirms lung metasis based on review of CT scan from Nov...Onc recommends Aromasin/Affinitor...
Apr 2014-Start Herceptin+Vinorelbine
Sep 2014-New pain in lower back, MRI confirms metastasis
Oct 2014-SBRT to lungs
Nov 2014-SBRT to lower back
Dec 2014-Restaging confirms two new nodules to lungs and lower spine :(
Jan 2015-Xeloda and Tykerb (good response)
Aug 2015-Xeloda/Tykerb not working...Dr wants to try Taxol/Herceptin combo...problem, Herceptin not covered by OHIP
Sep 2015-Begin Taxol continue Xgeva
Oct 2015-Add Herceptin
Nov 2015-CT stable but MRI shows new mets to spine :(
Jan/Feb 2016-Start Erubulin (Halavan)
May 2016-Progression...Stop Erubulin
June 2016-PMH to explore Clinical Trial options...consideration for Immunotherapy
July 2016-Screening for Trial...Still without treatment, experiencing low appetite, low energy, pain, and rapid wieght loss...cachexia???



You never know how STRONG you really are...until being strong is the only CHOICE you have...
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