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Re: Scans and update-
I'm so sorry you have to be going through this. It's an incredibly hard thing to go through just to have a doctor say such things. We need those around us to help us, not bring us down.
I just switched oncologists and I told the new guy emphatically that I am going to live well into my 80's! (I'm 43.) I've told every one of them that I don't want predictions or statistics at all.
Since the start of my "journey" last summer I've had periods of sadness, panic, depression, and funk that have lasted longer than just a few days. Most of the time I would tailspin into a very dark place and then get better. Facing what we have to face is not easy. At one point my husband asked me if I thought maybe I was clinically depressed, and I asked him what he thought was normal for someone in my situation? It was hard for him to hear my true feelings about things, but once I spoke them it seemed to lose power and I felt a little better.
SSRI type antidepressants work for many people, but they can be a big commitment because they take a long time to take effect and a long time to come off of...For what it's worth, for me Xanax has been a friend in some of my worst of times. It helps quiet my mind and make it easier to think more positive, reasonable thoughts. I don't take it very often, but when it does it helps and I get a great night's sleep to boot.
But most of all, your doctor does not know what will happen to you!!! I don't care how smart he is, he's not psychic!!! I would imagine a picture of him on a piece of paper, then crumple it up, throw it in the trash, and think vivid, colorful, larger than life size thoughts and pictures of yourself happy and healthy 5, 10, 15, and 20+ years from now!!! Think of Denise, Steph, and the other ladies who are beating brain mets every day!!! His words are nothing. Your future is REAL! --This is the type of thing my therapist has me do and it helps me a great deal.
You'll get through this!! You are an incredibly strong person, and a huge inspiration to me!!
Love,
Rachael
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7/30/2012 Diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer
8/3/2012 CT scan mets to liver (major!!), lungs, spine, and skin
8/8/2012 Biopsy results: invasive ductal carcinoma
ER+/PR+/HER2+ amplification 4.8 (whatever that means)
8/13/2012 Brain MRI (clear); bone scan verified CT scan
8/14/12 started Taxotere/Carboplatin/Herceptin, 2 rounds (added Neulasta after 9/4 treatment)
9/4/12 CA 15-3: >3000
9/15/12 CA 15-3: 840
9/15/12 started Taxotere/Perjeta/Herceptin, 4 rounds (no Neulasta)
10/29/12 CT scan showed dramatic improvement in all areas - largest liver met 2.5 cm, largest lung met 10 cm
12/17/12 Started Perjeta/Herceptin, 2 rounds
12/17/12 CA 15-3: 17 Yay!!!
1/21/13 CT scan showed improvement - largest liver met 1.9 cm, largest lung met 2 mm
1/29/13 CA 15-3: 12 Started Herceptin only
3/12/13 CA 15-3: still 12 yay!! Back to Perjeta/Herceptin
3/29/13 CT scan more improvement - largest liver met 1.2 cm, some lung mets disappeared!
3/7/14 started Tamoxifen
6/27/13 - 1/2015 CT scan stable
Began a diet of only single ingredient foods and went nearly NED excepts for some tiny lung spots - ask me if you want to know more...
1/2015 - 1/2017 CT scan stable
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