[Joy]

Hi Susan, I hope you are finding some answers for this issue. I empathize so much with you. I have had depression since childhood and treated it holistically and then with Prozac in the early 90's as it was getting severe. That helped except for the fact that I went from being an insomniac to someone who could hardly stay awake. And when we decided to think about having children, I went off the drugs. I discovered that pregnancy and breast feeding wiped out my depression. I thought, "OH, it was motherhood all along that I needed!" But when I would start my cycles again, the old blackness returned.

When I was diagnosed the first time my depression was already bad again and with the cancer news I felt like I needed meds and I began effexor at a sub therapeutic dose of 37.5 mgs/day and it really helped. Over time as I had stage IV recurrence-even more devastating news and in combination with chemopause, menopausal inducing drugs, etc. We really needed to up the dose to 75mgs and then again to 150 mgs. All of which made a difference.

Right now on tykerb/xeloda I think my depression is a smidge less than when I was on herceptin for 5ish years. My insomnia however is TERRIBLE and that messes with my head a lot.

So now that i've made YOUR post all about ME, my point is you are not alone. And there are things to help and I would see a psychiatrist for this before a family practitioner FOR SURE. If you do want to go on a medication for this then see someone who specializes in depression and can make a better judgement on which med to try. As they can be very individual in their success. Family docs do not specialize in this and therefore make guesses and people can certainly have success right away, but they can also spend time waiting for levels to be achieved only to find out the med isn't working and then having to go off, which is a little tricky, and then begin another.

Also, for me (and I'm a hard nut to crack with depression) always having fun things to look forward to has helped a lot. And that can be something as big as a ,to a concert, to a really great novel, or coffee with a friend (okay maybe a margarita with a friend as well). And I definitely feel more empowered and therefore more satisfied and content when I get into exercise. I love ashtanga yoga and have felt significantly better when I'm good about it.

Okay, I'm done and I'm hoping you can get past this soon and onto greater things!!!