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Andrea Barnett Budin · 08-28-2012, 09:56 AM

It's important, I've learned, to distinguish between the voice in my head vs my Inner Voice. That is the channel my Spirit speaks to me on. It is full of Love, Compassion, Understanding, Kindness, Generosity, Awe, humble Gratitude, caring Guidance and remarkable Support. That is my Higher Self talking to me. It is divinely wise and timelessly Present.

The voice in my head represents my primal self, my basest self. That voice is full of pride and jealousies, it criticizes and belittles me, blames, lacks self-confidence and so has a false sense of superiority. It judges all (me most harshly). It taunts me, making my head spin and my heart hurt. It worries and frets all day long. Oh, and it is full of fear.

I came upon Full of Beans thread --Life is a celebration. Wow what courage that woman has. How eloquently she touches our Souls. She wrote:
'Life is a celebration of that which we can do, not a requiem for that which we can not do'

I just wanted to let you know that despite my face edema and the blood clot and risk involved (not medically insured) I did go to my friend's wedding in Turkey and I had a fabulous time. My face is still causing me pain when I look at it, but hey it is another experience I suppose.

Many time I have felt sad and TV marketing and facebook makes you feel as if you have little to hold on to comparatively to you peers.. it is easy to feel like a looser:no financial securities..no health.. no lover or perfect family and behaved children). My friends all seem to be going on to better and greater things and I feel that in all that time I have been surviving,

Instead one should always celebrate what it is he can do: I have survived almost 7 years with metastatic cancer and left no stone unturned, I have learned a lot, mostly about myself and I can still stand straightwith love and compassion in my heart. You all have amazed me on this board and show so much spirit, thank you for I was learning.
__________________
When someone reminds us of our Oneness, it is a beautiful experience. All living things have a Soul. When we feel the Soul of our beingness, we find ourselves on a path to finding our Spirit, Grace and Love, which is a part of our mission here.

Full of Beans helped remind me of my power...

Andi

08-28-2012, 09:56 AM	#24
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Finding your power...! It's important, I've learned, to distinguish between the voice in my head vs my Inner Voice. That is the channel my Spirit speaks to me on. It is full of Love, Compassion, Understanding, Kindness, Generosity, Awe, humble Gratitude, caring Guidance and remarkable Support. That is my Higher Self talking to me. It is divinely wise and timelessly Present. The voice in my head represents my primal self, my basest self. That voice is full of pride and jealousies, it criticizes and belittles me, blames, lacks self-confidence and so has a false sense of superiority. It judges all (me most harshly). It taunts me, making my head spin and my heart hurt. It worries and frets all day long. Oh, and it is full of fear. I came upon Full of Beans thread --Life is a celebration. Wow what courage that woman has. How eloquently she touches our Souls. She wrote: 'Life is a celebration of that which we can do, not a requiem for that which we can not do' I just wanted to let you know that despite my face edema and the blood clot and risk involved (not medically insured) I did go to my friend's wedding in Turkey and I had a fabulous time. My face is still causing me pain when I look at it, but hey it is another experience I suppose. Many time I have felt sad and TV marketing and facebook makes you feel as if you have little to hold on to comparatively to you peers.. it is easy to feel like a looser:no financial securities..no health.. no lover or perfect family and behaved children). My friends all seem to be going on to better and greater things and I feel that in all that time I have been surviving, Instead one should always celebrate what it is he can do: I have survived almost 7 years with metastatic cancer and left no stone unturned, I have learned a lot, mostly about myself and I can still stand straightwith love and compassion in my heart. You all have amazed me on this board and show so much spirit, thank you for I was learning. __________________ When someone reminds us of our Oneness, it is a beautiful experience. All living things have a Soul. When we feel the Soul of our beingness, we find ourselves on a path to finding our Spirit, Grace and Love, which is a part of our mission here. Full of Beans helped remind me of my power... Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...