[Forever_Fighting]

I just recently came across this site and you have no idea how happy it’s made me!!!

I’m 38 years old (39 this June) and was officially dx’d with stage IV, HER2+ bc with mets to the liver and spine at the get go in the beginning of January (I new it was bc in mid-December but had to wait for my Oncologist appointment in January for the official news). I was heartbroken to hear the news! It was one of those moments that I never thought could happen to me, this kind of thing only happens to other people right???? I was a mess and honestly all I could think about was that I was dying. I couldn’t sleep for weeks and when I tried, I woke up almost every hour crying. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? What could I have done to avoid this??

Even though it’s only been just under two months from getting the official diagnoses, my attitude has changed for the better and it keeps getting better every day. I know I will still have my bad days but for the most part, I have “accepted” my disease and have decided to move forward with my life and try to live it to the fullest without regret. I decided I had no desire to live in depression and waste the years I have left, I want to love life and get as much out of it while I can!!!

Even though I know what I have has been labeled as “terminal” and I considered my life over in the beginning, I now prefer to look at this as a chronic disease. Medicine is making new discoveries all the time and my hope is that the longer I hang on and fight, the more options I will have to keep going with a good quality life!!!!

I had a week of radiation for my spine in the beginning and it worked wonders!!!!! I can freely move around again and I’m now at about an 85%-90% comfort level whereas before I was lucky to have a “good day” at 50%-60%. Before radiation, I was in bed most of the time since the pain was just horrible and now I can walk without pain and for the first time in ages, I can actually bend over without having to grab onto something for support just to do something as simple as picking something up off the ground.

I just finished round two of chemo (Tatotere) this past Tuesday along with Herceptin and will be doing this every three weeks for 6-8 treatments (length depends on how my body reacts and the cancer cells respond). I will be on Herceptin for many treatments after my chemo is finished as well as on a pill a day if everything goes well. So far, I have been VERY lucky and have had minimal side effects from the treatments. Other than hair loss, some slight/temporary changes in my taste buds, some water retention and the occasional aches and pains, I have been pretty much side effect free which I think is really helping with my attitude. I know that each treatment can be different and I may not feel this well every time but I will happily take it when I can get it!!

My Oncologist didn’t give me a time frame on how long I have to live (and of course it was the very first question I asked!). She explained to me that it’s different for each person and how their body reacts to the treatments. At first I wasn’t sure if I was happy with her answer. I was torn between wanting to “know” so I could prepare, to not wanting to know so I didn’t stress out about it every moment of the life I have left. Now I am glad that she can’t tell me because it gives me hope of many years to come!

Coming across this site has now given me even more hope and motivation to keep going! To be able to read the stories, updates and progress of other women in the same or similar situation has been amazing. It shows me that no one has an expiry date as so many people (including us) like to think with a disease like this. It also shows that a positive attitude can make such a difference in this journey. To know that so many women have been living well with this for 10+ years has just made my day, thank you!!!!!