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Old 10-20-2014, 08:13 PM   #14
v-ness
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: western ma
Posts: 280
Re: End of my strength

Others have posted about crushing blows during cancer. I hope that it helps you feel less alone, that there are those of us here who know what it's like to be in the throes of a complicated and seemingly unending hell. I too can relate. I lost my father to a stroke and had to help my devastated mom. 11 months later my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer, dying 10 weeks later. And then of course i got diagnosed with breast cancer. At the end of my treatment my mom died of ovarian cancer no one knew she had. And even in remission it has not ended. My sister is a raging alcoholic now and i constantly fear her death. And all the stress scares me, will it make the cancer come back? It's so hard to understand why some of us are seemingly cursed at every turn. People say "you're so strong", but a) what choice do you have? And b) others would have given anything to survive the fight. We owe it to them and ourselves to see it through. You just go on. You rest, then pull yourself up by the bootstraps and go on. Be good to yourself, let others be good to you, and look for all the good there still is, all around.
__________________
8/09 - IDC 1.8 cm triple positive, lumpectomy left breast
10/09 began chemo (taxotere & carboplatin) and weekly herceptin.
1/21/10 finished chemo, continued on herceptin every 3 weeks until 10/2010.
2/10 began 7 wks of radiation
6/10 mom dies of primary peritoneal ovarian cancer
8/10 got my last remaining ovary out
10/10 mammogram all clear
3/11 MRI shows 5 'spots' in right breast, largest 1 cm unidentifiable on US
needle biopsy proved the largest to be old inflamed cyst -phew!
7/10 switched to Arimidex
8/9 switched to Femara - allergic to arimidex
Femara made me lose hair quickly so switched to Aromasin
Aromasin made my hair fall out too and the bone pain was too much.
back on Tamoxifen 1/2013.
blood clot from trains and planes 5/2014 so on coumadin per onco for as long as i am on tamoxifen
tamoxifen was supposed to be up with my 5 yrs in may but my boyfriend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer so i am staying on tamoxifen indefinitely because i want some ammo against BC, given the stress. lost my husband in only 10 wks in 2007 to stage 4 esophageal cancer.
cancer's screwing with another man i love
2/2016 - 6yrs in remission, off tamoxifen and off coumadin - yay!
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