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Andrea Barnett Budin · 09-10-2013, 09:14 AM

Yes, Denise, I feel it.

Dx in '95, first grandchild (Josie) born in '96. My dghtr asked if I would like to be present for the birth! I stood by her side from 10 PM till 6:30 AM and witnessed Josie come into this world! It was awesome on so many levels.

Soon after, I began having this dream. In huge calligraphied lettering I saw JOCELYN TAYLOR in hunter green. I discussed this odd dream w/my dghtr, trying to figure out what it meant. You were dreaming of her Bat Mitzvah invitation! This milestone occurs when a child reaches 13...

So though I had my moments, not planning more than a yr in advance, not buying theater tickets or booking a vacation -- and when buying a pretty frock for my darling granddghtr wanting the 3 mnth size, I once came upon a little dress that the smallest size they had was a size 1 yr. I thought, But will I live to see her in it? AND I QUICKLY PUSHED THAT THOUGHT ASIDE, TRAMPLED ON IT AS I RUSHED TO THE CASH REGISTER WITH CERTAINTY AND BOUGHT IT!!

I digress. Nothing new here. I began envisioning myself far, far into the future. My desired dream was to be present at Josie's Bat Mitzvah. I saw myself aglow, standing, looking fabulous of course, beside my husband in his handsome suit and tie, surrounded by family at a large round table among another dozen round tables.

Music was playing and I was clapping to the music and applauding my 13 year old granddaughter's entrance to the celebration (temple services were over and now it was time to party). YES, THIS IS ALL IN MY IMAGINATION, IN MY MIND'S EYE, ON MY MENTAL SCREEN.

And -- Josie was Bat Mitzvah in January of 2010...! And -- grandchild # 2, Brett, was Bar Mitzvah last fall! So now, I dream of being at the next major special occasion, 9 yr old Asher's Bar Mitzvah!

I RECOMMEND THIS METHOD HIGHLY.

AND I LOVE YOU...

Andi

09-10-2013, 09:14 AM	#4
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Re: A simple formula for changing the future Yes, Denise, I feel it. Dx in '95, first grandchild (Josie) born in '96. My dghtr asked if I would like to be present for the birth! I stood by her side from 10 PM till 6:30 AM and witnessed Josie come into this world! It was awesome on so many levels. Soon after, I began having this dream. In huge calligraphied lettering I saw JOCELYN TAYLOR in hunter green. I discussed this odd dream w/my dghtr, trying to figure out what it meant. You were dreaming of her Bat Mitzvah invitation! This milestone occurs when a child reaches 13... So though I had my moments, not planning more than a yr in advance, not buying theater tickets or booking a vacation -- and when buying a pretty frock for my darling granddghtr wanting the 3 mnth size, I once came upon a little dress that the smallest size they had was a size 1 yr. I thought, But will I live to see her in it? AND I QUICKLY PUSHED THAT THOUGHT ASIDE, TRAMPLED ON IT AS I RUSHED TO THE CASH REGISTER WITH CERTAINTY AND BOUGHT IT!! I digress. Nothing new here. I began envisioning myself far, far into the future. My desired dream was to be present at Josie's Bat Mitzvah. I saw myself aglow, standing, looking fabulous of course, beside my husband in his handsome suit and tie, surrounded by family at a large round table among another dozen round tables. Music was playing and I was clapping to the music and applauding my 13 year old granddaughter's entrance to the celebration (temple services were over and now it was time to party). YES, THIS IS ALL IN MY IMAGINATION, IN MY MIND'S EYE, ON MY MENTAL SCREEN. And -- Josie was Bat Mitzvah in January of 2010...! And -- grandchild # 2, Brett, was Bar Mitzvah last fall! So now, I dream of being at the next major special occasion, 9 yr old Asher's Bar Mitzvah! I RECOMMEND THIS METHOD HIGHLY. AND I LOVE YOU... Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...