[CoolBreeze]

Since you asked "what do you think about this" and I see nobody with mets except me has responded yet, I will add: I am sick and tired of the pep talks I get constantly from everybody around me. They are not in my shoes, don't know what I deal with, cannot possibly fathom what I am going through. No pep talks! She is allowed to understand reality and feel bad from it. She will soon begin mourning her life and that is hard. Her career dreams, her dreams for children...all gone. She will be very sad about that - it is very hard when your future is taken away.

Don't deny her reality, which is that she is going to die of cancer, and sooner than later. Ten years would be a long time considering she has it in her bones, lungs and liver. When you say to your daughter "don't plan to die" you are essentially telling her that you don't want her to face the truth.

Because of course she has to plan to die. She will have to do paperwork, wills, legal things. She may want to plan her funeral or arrange it ahead of time. There is a lot of mental preparation that comes with this diagnosis too.

You can simultaneously live with hope that you have more time but knowing that there is no cure.

Far too many people want to tell you (me) it'll all be okay, and that is for THEM, not for you (me). Sure, it'll be okay. After I'm gone, the sun will shine, the squirrels will play, my dog will slobber on bones, my sons will get married......life goes on. But it will go on without me. We mourn that and we should.

Kiri sounds like a straight-forward, practical girl. She is facing reality. If you want to be in her life, you are going to have to face reality with her. So go to the appointment and hear what the doctor has to say. Really listen. I think, being a mother myself, it'll be the hardest thing you ever have to do. Just be very careful about pushing away reality because she doesn't sound like the type that will feel supported by that. She, like me, may feel supported when people acknowledge the gravity of what we are facing.

And, try to live each day you are given with her. It can be a beautiful time if you let it. She probably won't start feeling really bad from all these chemos for a while so now is the time to take trips, etc. Everybody is different but 2 years post my mets diagnosis I can't do much and I sleep most of the time - I wish I'd gone on a family trip when I first heard.

Again, I'm so sorry you got this terrible news. Be strong.